


The Dreamer's Den

by RaccoonEyedNerd



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, F/F, Philosophy, Polyamory, Romance, Sex Positive, but I'm really positive about all kinds of relationships on this fic, not the main ship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-02-17 08:56:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 36,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13073487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaccoonEyedNerd/pseuds/RaccoonEyedNerd
Summary: “Is this really happening?”“Why wouldn’t it?"A story about ten girls, time, and a rooftop in a very old but colorful building.





	1. City Of Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, kind people, we meet again.  
> Thank you for meeting me for this journey, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did when I wrote it.

The first time she wrote a letter, it was eleven o' clock and she was supposed to be celebrating her last night as a jobless dancer. She sighed, smiling softly at the night with tired eyes, the city lights blinking back at her while she tried to put her mind together; she felt tired, but for some strange reason couldn’t fall asleep, no matter how much she tried. She drank her third bottle of water and looked at the notebook on her lap, the pages moving thanks to the gentle breeze on the building’s rooftop.

 

Only one more year, and she could be able to finally leave that place and venture into bigger things, hopefully, a dance company where she could prove the world and herself she could actually achieve what she dreamed about doing her whole life.

 

She smiled when she thought about it.

 

Armed with both bright smile and hopeful eyes, Hirai Momo was the kind of girl that made everyone believe in fate again.

 

That was actually the reason why she was sitting at the old table in the rooftop, fate. It was a topic Nayeon often talked about, like how it was written, for them to meet and grow up together, so they could also follow their dreams as two halves of a whole soul in a foreign city.

 

Maybe it was fate what made them find the building they lived in since they arrived to the big city –that, or the very motivational and colorful graffiti decorating its walls-. "The Dreamer's Den" was an old residential building, where young kids lived after leaving their hometowns in order to achieve their dreams and hopefully become, actors, singers, musicians or artists of any kind. If you were an overly optimistic young girl or boy, with big dreams and a ridiculously low budget, the Den was probably the best choice in the country.

 

"I knew I would find you here."  Momo smiled when she recognized the voice, and turned her head to find Nayeon giving her that kind look she loved to see when she was feeling off or down. "You should be celebrating with us, or Jeongyeon is going to drink even the flower pot water."

 

“I was about to finish this… You know.”

 

“The letters again?” She asked, smirking.

 

Momo nodded and bit her lower lip, Nayeon let out a breathy laugh, not mocking, but really used to guess what was going on in her mind.

 

“You’re one of a kind, Momo.” She moved to sit in front of Momo at the old table, marked with all the names of the past dreamers that lived there. “I’ve always admired this about you.”

 

“What? My penmanship?”

 

“Heck no, that one is messy.” She chuckled and reached out to take Momo’s hand, interlacing their fingers softly. “I’m talking about how kind you are, and how perseverant you are; most kids here eventually give up on their dreams, but here you are, ready to conquer the world with the poetry you do with your body.”

 

“I want to give the same hope I feel to another, Nabongs; It’s okay to dream and we both know it.”

 

“I know.”

 

“And I know your dream will soon be a reality.”

 

“If the awesome and beautiful Hirai Momo says I’m gonna do something, heck, I’ll bet my life on it.”

 

“You’re such a dork.” Momo said, and the both of them started laughing.

 

Momo was very known back in the Dreamer’s Den, everyone knew about her kind and thoughtful ways, and her “happy feet” that wouldn’t stop moving because time didn’t stop her, it was always time to dance for her, out of pure happiness; the same happiness she carried on her heart translated itself into hope, and that hope made her write the letters on her notebook, for the future dreamer that visited the rooftop and found it under the old table.

 

She was used to spend whole evenings writing for whatever soul needed it; it was the present from someone whose life taught her to never give up.

 

“Now please let’s go and get wasted, I’m sure the future dreamers are going to be okay without you for one night.” Momo smiled at Nayeon antics and nodded, giving a last glance to the notebook before closing it and leaving it under the table.

 

**

 

“I told you before, Mr. Kang, the project will be completed and ready for the presentation by next Friday.” She said softly, getting herself ready for the incoming complaints and scolding.

 

_“Miss Winn, I needed those sketches like… Yesterday.”_

 

“Sir, excuse me, but no one can finish those in three days.”

 

_“No, Sharon, you are the one who doesn’t seem fit enough for the task. It’s only drawings after all, how much it’s supposed to take? You know what? If you can’t do it, I’ll find someone who can, you heard?”_

 

Sharon sighed, biting her lower lip and pulling her own hair in silent frustration,

 

“Don’t worry, the project will be on your desk tomorrow, I’m sorry for troubling you, Mr. Kang.”

_“It better be, or you’re fired.”_

He hung up, and she would’ve cried if she had enough time to do so.

 

Maybe, in between of her two jobs, she could find the time to call her friends and ask them for coffee and energy drinks for the tiring night that would come after that call.

 

It was easy for her at the beginning, to have two jobs; everyone would praise her at first, about being such a responsible young woman, full of life. After a couple months, the praises started to turn slowly into scolding, more demanding looks and a lot of heartbreaking critics; the hard life of an artist, Chaeyoung would say to her sometimes, while stabbing a canvas with a brush and calling the thing “rage art”, actually, Mina… Or Sharon Winn, like her clients know her as, could understand the attractive behind the younger girl colorful but extremely messy art.

 

That was the reason why Chaeyoung was the artist and Mina the Illustrator.

 

“I swear; I’m not going to survive this week.” Mina complained quietly, focusing her eyes on the computer screen while she worked on her graphics tablet.

 

“It’s going to be okay, Mina-chan. And, you know that if you need money we can always help. Dahyun misses you and your weird opinions on music, ya know.” The younger one put her hands on Mina’s shoulders and started massaging while the other girl worked. “Why don’t you take a break for a while, we can have a couple drinks, so you can lighten up a little bit.”

 

“The last thing I need in my system right now it’s alcohol, cupcake.”

 

“Aw, come on, just a couple minutes.” Chaeyoung pouted and tugged on Mina’s sleeve, to make her look at her.

 

“And were we’re supposed to go?” The taller one sighed, and Chaeyoung raised her fists in victory.

 

“We can just chill at the rooftop with the other girls, I have beer.”

 

“No alcohol”

 

“Okay, geez, apple juice for you, grandma.”

 

“Speak quietly, I can still hear you from up here.”

 

“Hey, I call bullshit, you’re not that tall!”

 

**

 

Momo didn’t usually like parties, even though she loved music, she didn’t feel comfortable with the smell of smoke and alcohol around her; she thought it was kind of dumb considering the fact she was used to drink sometimes, in the company of her friends.

 

Still, there was something about parties that just made her feel weird.

 

In order to keep her mind as far away as possible from whatever thought that ruined her already amazing mood, she decided the best she could do was to comply to her friends’ requests and start to dance the latest composition from the Seoul Art University orchestra, the sound of her friend’s cheering and clinging cups making the perfect accompaniment to her powerful moves.

 

That was why they admired her, the rest of the dreamers; when Momo started dancing, it was like the whole universe stopped in time to see her dance, to see her being the incarnation of art itself while turning the sounds into imagery and movement.

 

To see Momo dance, was almost poetic; her strength was as breathtaking as her grace.

 

She was the most brilliant star in the Den’s galaxy, and her friends loved to see her shine because she deserved every single second.

 

“That’s my roommate, bitches!” Nayeon’s voice was heard in the middle of the crowd, and Momo smiled.

 

It was no secret after all, how hardworking she was. Nayeon was used to take care of Momo’s dancing wounds on her feet and knees; she even considered telling her to calm down and take things easy when her skin was torn by the amount of pressure on it and her muscles, but the fire on the Japanese girl’s eyes was enough to make her shut up.

 

Momo was like a storm, not the storm you run from, but the one you can’t help but chase. The eye of the hurricane, sucking everyone into her magnificence.

 

And oh, Nayeon was quite the thrillseeker.

 

**

 

“Tell me about it, I swear the gallery wants me to breath, eat and shit master pieces so I can keep getting a paycheck; art needs inspiration, ya know, and I’m not getting it from their constant nagging and the stupid need they have to rush things.”

 

“It’s just… If I get this one right, I might find a way to the studio I want to work for.”

 

“But that doesn’t mean they can walk over you like you’re some sort of carpet or whatever shit rich people step on in their free time.”

 

“I say we kill him while he sleeps.” Dahyun, Chaeyoung’s roommate, exclaimed and high-fived with the other girl.

 

Mina chuckled and took the beer can from Chaeyoung’s hands so she could take a single sip, giving it back as quickly as she took it. The stressed out girl sat in between her roommate’s legs on the old beach chair, staring lazily at the sunset.

 

“Does everyone go through the same shit we go through?” Chaeyoung asked, resting her back on Dahyun’s front.

 

“It’s just you and your bad luck, it’s rubbing off on me.” Tzuyu said, supporting her chin on Mina’s head.

 

“Kiss my butt, Chou.”

 

“That can be arranged, Son, If you ask nicely.”

 

“You’re disgusting.”

 

“You’re the one smelling like beer and cat food.”

 

“I told you! I’m experimenting with new pigments and stuff; things can get messy.”

 

“Whatever you say, kiddo.” She laughed again and the smaller girl threatened to throw her beer can at her face.

 

Tzuyu and Mina didn’t stop laughing then, the look Chaeyoung gave the taller one was priceless; they started pushing each other using their legs and the atmosphere soon turned a lot more playful.

 

At least until the goddamn chair gave up after a gazillion years of estimated life and broke under their butts.

 

Tzuyu ended up banging her head against the floor and with Mina landed on top of her.

 

“Shit, Chae, you killed her! You’re lucky I know how to properly hide a body.” Dahyun jumped from the other chair to check on them and Chaeyoung stood there, dumbfounded. “You okay, Mina?”

 

“Yes, Dubu, I landed on Tzuyu.” The illustrator got up and checked on her roommate, allowing herself to smile when she made sure she was okay and helping her up.

 

“Goddamn midgets from hell.” Tzuyu mumbled, holding the back of her head with one of her hands before glaring to a smirking Chaeyoung.

 

They started laughing after checking on the real damage they made, the old broken chair and a couple of beers emptying themselves on the rooftop.

 

“Great, now we need to go shopping for more furniture. Anyway, let’s just go and eat noodles at Dahyun’s, I’m hungry.” Tzuyu grumbled and Mina nodded, bending down to pick up the cans from the floor with the help of the other girls.

 

Then she noticed something on the floor, more specifically, under the old table.

 

**

 

_Dear dreamer, does that sound cheesy? Because I’m not the most eloquent person, and my dictionary kinda got stuck because it put it under our broken table to keep it stable._

_We’ve just met and I think I might already have offended you with my 1000 ways to use a book at home, and not precisely for reading. But, hey! If I didn’t maybe I could give you a couple more tricks to survive in this big city, involving old books and a surprising way to use a cereal box in your bathroom._

_Anyways, I was supposed to say hi and introduce myself; I’m your soon to be ex-neighbor, here at the Dreamer’s Den, my name isn’t important, even though I hope you get to know it in the future for all the good reasons. If you found this notebook and its letters, probably you’re in the same position I was before I started writing this: You’re a dreamer chasing your destiny, and I’ll be the one who can help you through the process._

_Probably, you’re feeling down right now, and that’s why you’re sitting at the rooftop, reading a letter you probably found on accident, seeking for some sort of comfort._

_Well, it’s your lucky day, because my friends often say I’m a good listener and, sometimes, I give good advice._

_First things, first. Whatever you’re going through right now, it’s not a permanent; that’s the most important lesson you can learn here, at the Dreamer’s Den; ups and downs are necessary on this wild ride we like to call life; believe it or not, we need the downs as much as we need the ups, because we can learn from them. Just imagine, would the concept of good even exist if the concept of bad didn’t? Nothing would make any sense at all._

_And that’s why, my dear new friend, whatever you’re going through right now it’s necessary; you’ll learn and, most importantly, you’ll live._

_I must sound like I’m some sort of therapist, but, trust me, I’m far from it. I’ve made so many mistakes myself, necessary mistakes sometimes, and some other times, not so much; but I never gave up hope, and I hope you won’t lose it either because that’s the point where we become machines and stop being humans. And you, my dear friend, are certainly not made of metal._

_Or are you? I mean… I didn’t think about how much it would take for someone to find this letter._

_Anyways, back to our business._

_If you’re feeling down or off right now, I got a couple instructions you must follow in order to understand a little bit of my unique methods._

_First, if you’re sitting down, leave this notebook on a table or the floor and look at your own hands._

_Do you see them with this light? You already know them, you see them every day, right? Touch your fingers, do they feel real?_

_They do, don’t they?_

_Great! You learned something super important today!_

_Don’t you know what it is?_

_Well, my dear friend, your hands are real; you can touch them right now, they exist and so do you. You exist on this planet, right now, on this moment, looking at this letter and wondering what the hell are you doing but still finding a trace of hope on my words. You exist and that means you can do things, and from now on, everything you achieve, either little or big things, will be things you do on your own. You’re now being a real person, your own person._

_The world It’s now on your hands, go out and conquer it, it’s time you realize you already have the keys for your own happiness and no one can take that from you._

_Lesson one, learned: You exist, if you exist, you can live, and if you live… You can do anything._

_Sincerely yours;_

_Your neighbor here on the Dreamer’s Den._

**

 

Rain poured hard on the pavement, little drops creating an endless symphony people chose to ignore; the girl sat on the bus stop, her hair slightly wet thanks to the barely efficient jacket she decided to use that morning. She groaned when she realized her backpack was drenched and her books were probably too.

 

Another girl, much older than her, stood ahead from her; her hair was tied up in a messy bun and she was checking on her wrist watch every two or three minutes. An umbrella hanged on the older girl forearm while she waited in the bus stop and the drenched young girl regretted her every decision since she got up in the morning when she remembered she left hers at home.

 

At least something would be dry when she gets home.

 

The young girl patted the uniform’s skirt and looked at her own bruised knees, now cold because of the weather.

 

And the evening was just starting to get interesting, or so she decided after opening her flip phone and checking the last text her mother sent her, something about dinner and her father’s friends coming over to have a little celebration dinner for his birthday.

 

Her eyes then returned to the unknown young woman, because, when you’re young, curiosity it’s the biggest trait and blessing of them all, and a young, elegant woman with a red umbrella practically screams to be looked at. She looked stoic but graceful in a way she couldn’t describe, and the young school girl felt envious because women like that were often portrayed as business women on TV, always in a rush, running with the world instead of looking at it pass in front of their eyes.

 

The young woman looked up from her wrist watch and her expression changed to one of utter relief; the school girl followed her eyes and, to her surprise, also found what she was waiting for.

 

When her bus stopped, she jumped from her seat and ran to the doors behind the older woman, childish and inpatient steps practically echoing over the rain white noise.

 

“Hey! Wait!” A voice could be heard from the sidewalk and the younger girl turned her head.

 

A young man was barely carrying pieces of wood longer than his body; a carpenter, maybe?

 

The young girl took a step back so the man could get on the bus first, the hood of her jacket flying back and exposing her loose hair. The young man thanked her and smiled warmly, it reminded the school girl of her own father.

 

“Thank you, you just saved me, kid.”

 

The young girl was about to reply when she heard a loud honk and another bus soon took the place of the last one in a rush.

 

The very same one she should’ve took looking smaller as it went away into the distance.

 

“Come on!” She groaned again, sighing in defeat.

 

The young girl looked at a sky with a frown, trying to glare the clouds and the rain away.

 

She eventually lost her patience and started walking home, sighing.

 

And somewhere else in the world, another person sighed at the same time, looking at a broken table.

 

“Well, we’ll have to replace this one.”

 

**

 

“Still working?” Tzuyu asked in a husky voice, getting up from the couch and walking towards her, it looked like she waited for Mina to come home. “It’s too late, and you’re cold.” She confirmed, putting both of her hands on Mina’s cheeks

 

“I just finished the project presentation, I was just writing something.” She tiredly replied, looking over Tzuyu’s shoulder to find six solved Rubik cubes on the living room table. “Six? How long did it take you this time?”

 

“I hope it’s your resignation letter, because no one should overwork themselves like you do.” Tzuyu purposefully ignored Mina’s questions, more interested on the older woman’s wellbeing. She tended to be overprotective like that, and the illustrator felt like chuckling because she was supposed to be the one caring for the younger ones.

 

“Don’t be like that, it’s just a rough patch. And I told you guys earlier, I need this.”

 

“You need this... But do you _want_ this?”

 

Mina sighed and looked at the floor.

 

“Are we doing this again, Tzuyu?”

 

Tzuyu just removed her warm hands from her face and made an annoyed sound.

 

“This is your problem, Mina.” The illustrator frowned and looked up to find Tzuyu smiling bitterly before biting her lower lip. “You never say anything.”

 

“I do.”

 

“Only when you’re sorry, and that’s too often for my taste.”

 

“And what’s the big problem about that?” Tzuyu chuckled in disbelief and put one of her palms on her forehead.

 

“Are you really asking me that, Mina?” She looked pained, and Mina just couldn’t understand why. “You barely sleep nowadays, that asshole keeps asking you to do impossible things and you just… You just do it without a question. It’s hurting you, the path you’re taking; it’s because you don’t say a thing when something bothers you or you don’t want to do it.”

 

“Tzuyu, you more than anyone should understand how important is to keep a job like this… I love what I do, and this is my chance.”

 

“Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?” Tzuyu looked at her dead in the eye and Mina never felt so small, but the glare was gone as soon as it appeared on her beautiful face, and the taller girl quickly softened when she saw Mina fidgeting. “Mina, you know how much… I care about you, okay? And fuck, I’m surely not telling you to quit or anything like that. I just want you to stop trying to please everyone around you. You need to understand it soon.”

 

“What?”

 

“How amazing you are.”

 

Both girls kept silent then and Tzuyu swallowed the rest of her words, gravity pulling her body against Mina and her arms around her smaller frame; they both were tired.

 

“I’m sorry, Mina.” Tzuyu kissed the top of her head and Mina nodded against her shoulder.

 

“I know how intense you get.”

 

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

 

“I won’t, I have you by my side.”

 

“You know what I mean.”

 

“And so do you.”

 

Mina then kissed a patch of skin on Tzuyu’s neck; the taller girl closed her eyes and sighed, bringing her closer.

 

Tzuyu was as lost as Mina.

 

But they were on two different types of labyrinths.

 

**

 

It was like the absolute truth of the Dreamer’s Den parties; when the night existed, it existed to be danced away. Heartbeats vibrated strongly on their bodies and the rhapsody of three bodies dancing together was the main show on the 5B loft. Momo found herself in between of Naeyeon and Jeongyeon, hands extended towards the ceiling, like she was trying to reach out for the infinite, and hips swaying like ocean waves. Nayeon’s hands felt warm on her waist, and Jeongyeon lips against her ear whispered secrets that somehow the three of them already knew, judging by their synchronized chuckles; one song transitioned to another, but the constant tempo kept the girls on their own reverie.

 

They were drunk on their own simple happiness –Maybe alcohol had a little participation on Jeongyeon’s case- and they ran through the hallways before they were blamed for the broken window; the short haired girl grabbed both girls’ hands and took them to the door marked as 5D, her red cheeks more prominent thanks to her knowing smirk.

 

“I’ve got a new camera.” Was all she said as she locked the door behind them.

 

**

 

“Poetry.” She whispered against her skin, looking at the instant pictures. “You’re poetry.”

 

“You always say that.”

 

“Well, she’s not wrong.” The older girl smiled, sitting on her hips while reaching out for a strand of her hair. “Even though I’d better say you’re more exiting to look at, than a lot of weird words.”

 

Jeongyeon took another picture and smiled, Nayeon and Momo soon appeared on the image, intensely looking at each other like the camera didn’t exist at all.

 

It was intimate, and the three of them often exchanged those kind of looks in the privacy of their apartments, the secret they only knew.

 

“When I first met you, I didn’t think you’d be the voyeur kind.” Nayeon looked at Jeongyeon and not a single drop of judgement appeared on her enticing eyes.

 

“I’m not.”

 

“Really?” Momo asked softly, pointing at the pictures of the three of them, scrambled in the bedroom and surrounding the mattress.

 

“It’s like that sensation you get when you hear a certain song, you can’t help but dance to it; an unavoidable force, whatever you try to do… You have to dance when that song starts to play on the radio.”

 

“It’s not a need, it’s a pleasure.” Momo pointed out.

 

“Exactly, it’s the muse.”

 

“And what’s this proyect about?” Nayeon asked, taking the camera from Jeongyeon and pointing it at her, capturing the fresh marks on her skin.

 

“Time, eternity.”

 

“Isn’t it kind of a cliché while talking about photography?” Momo asked.

 

“They usually talk about moments, capturing a moment and all that. I think differently.”

 

“And that’s maybe why you’re becoming a filmmaker and not a photographer.”

 

“Maybe, I just don’t think it’s possible to capture a moment in a photograph; what if time goes by and you don’t remember what you felt when that picture was taken? Time is the only truth at the end, and you can’t stop it, you can forget about feelings and people, but can’t stop the eternity from happening.”

 

“So why the pictures?”

 

“To prove that this time existed, that this exact moment happened.”

 

“Sounds like you’re afraid of time.” Nayeon spoke softly.

 

“I’m just afraid of being forgotten.” Jeongyeon confessed with a smile.

 

“Don’t we all?” Momo added.

 

**

_I think I get what you’re trying to say, are first letters always this hard to write? If that’s so, I’m so sorry for those who have to write lots of firsts._

_So, hello, soon-to-be ex-neighbor. I guess my name isn’t important either, but you’ll be happy to know that I’m actually interested about knowing proper ways to use a book, and I happen to have a cereal box lying around on my kitchen._

_I think you’ll be also glad to know that your words actually stopped my sanity from exploding and leaving me completely so, congratulations! You saved a person’s mind (and future career) tonight._

_If you aren’t a therapist, are you a poet? If you aren’t I suggest you choose a career on those fields, I’ll happily throw all my money at you._

_I’d like to ask you something though, and I’m sorry if it doesn’t make immediate sense to you, but I don’t think I’ll ever do at all._

_You seem to be wise, your words are too… What do you think about hardships and decisions? When does too hard become too much? There’s people that says that we must learn to choose our battles, but, how do you do that? How to pick the right battle? It’s a battle really necessary?_

_I seem to ask myself this kind of questions too often for my own taste._

_Lesson one: Learned, and you should be proud, because you kept me staring at my own hands for about forty minutes until I finally understood what you meant._

_Sincerely yours (and my money too);_

_The overthinker who just found the right guidance... And found out that she actually exists._


	2. The Night Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The past is never dead. It's not even past.”  
> ― William Faulkner, Requiem for a Nun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand I'm back. Sorry for the delay, I kept checking on details and being overly self-conscious.
> 
> There's a concept video for this fic in particular, I made it mainly because I wanted to be clear about the path I was taking when I started writing this (Did you know that working on other media with the same concept helps a lot with the writer's block? Well, It does!). 
> 
> Anyways, you can watch it on yt and turn on the subtitles if you don't understand my weird symbolysm /watch?v=rF-ViwCbQEA
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and being patient with my not-so-good english grammar. 
> 
> Have a nice night/day wherever you are!

 

 

“White Mocha, please.” The woman smiled and the young man on the counter nodded courtly.

 

“Let me take this one, hyung.” His colleague, interceded, and the woman smiled brightly when she recognized _her_.

 

“Hey, good evening, Sally.”

 

“Good evening, Miss Jihyo. White Mocha? Just enough sweet?” Tzuyu raised one of her eyebrows, already starting on the older woman’s drink.

 

“You got that.” Jihyo smiled warmly and watched her work, refusing to go and find a seat while waiting, choosing to look at the younger one work instead. “I thought you only worked morning shifts.”

 

“I could ask the same thing.” The young barista replied, smirking. “Late hours again?”

 

“You get me.”

 

“That I do.”

 

And then, the silent conversation began; Jihyo started playing with the bracelet on her left wrist and hummed an unknown melody while Tzuyu finished preparing her favorite drink. They often shared looks that were instantly replied by smiles and nods; the older woman got easily used to have the young girl on her life, even if it was only a couple minutes each time, she somehow felt that the barista understood her in a level she couldn’t explain properly, but again, there was a lot of things she couldn’t explain and wouldn’t bother try to.

 

The older woman sighed at the faint but wonderful smell lingering on the air; there was something about that particular café that made her comeback every time –And it wasn’t the sole fact that the place was the only one which could properly make her special White Mocha-, maybe it was the warm and homely atmosphere, with the wooden counters and rustic style. Actually, it was quite possible that her fascination with the place had something to do with a certain barista and her particular personality and sarcastic remarks –she happened to hear a couple of those while waiting one time, and they were directed to her colleagues; she had to admit the dark humor of the young girl got her way too easily-.

 

She was charming, in her own special and unique way; Jihyo surely appreciated uniqueness, so that was a thing.

 

Tzuyu gracefully finished her drink and handled it to her, their fingers barely touching in a silent farewell; a couple nods between them and then, Park Jihyo, Head producer and Mixing engineer from P&W Records, was gone and the young barista only could look at her figure walking away, wondering if maybe, just maybe, she could have said something else to the woman for a change.

 

Her colleague pointed his wrist watch and she nodded after remembering she was actually done for the day, taking off her apron on the spot and handling it to him.

 

“What do you say about tomorrow, Sally?” He asked, checking the shift distribution on his coffee-stained notebook. “We could make a space for you if you feel like taking it.”

 

“I need the double shifts, Mark-hyung. Count me in.”

 

“Money problems?”

 

“We all have those, hyung. Mina is about to have a meltdown and I want to be ready.”

 

“I saw her this morning, she looked like she hadn’t slept for a week.” He agreed, pushing Tzuyu softly with his shoulder. “When will you stop with the hyung thing? It’s getting weird, dude.”

 

“You know I won’t be caught dead calling you oppa, and sunbaenim it’s too long for my taste so… Hyung it is.”

 

The young man chuckled and started cleaning the counter, looking around to check that the last costumers already left. Tzuyu started getting ready, pulling a red scarf from her backpack after putting her bomber jacket on.

 

“Did you say anything today? To her?” He asked after a couple instants of silence, like he was doubting about the question.

 

“Who?” Tzuyu asked, already guessing where the conversation was heading and feigning ignorance so she could avoid further questions.

 

“The White Mocha woman, I thought you guys knew each other.”

 

“We don’t.” She replied, shrugging.

 

“And she comes here, every day, sometimes twice… And you always happen to take her order with a smile on your face. A. Smile. On. Your. Face, Sally. Do you even know her name?”

 

“Actually, yes, I write it on her cup every day.”

 

“Hardy har.”

 

“Why are you so interested anyway? It’s not like she’s the only frequent costumer here.” Tzuyu raised one of her eyebrows and smirked, trying to throw Mark off.

 

He shrugged and gave up on getting more information from his colleague, turning his attention to more important things on the place so he could close it soon and call it a day. He did chuckle under his breath though, only Tzuyu didn’t notice it when he was heading back into the administration office.

 

“Well, then you definitively won’t want to know that her car It’s still parked outside, shame, it did look like a good opportunity to talk, but what do I know. Good night Tzuyu.”

 

**

 

Mina loved what she did, she loved it with a passion. There was something magical about creating a character from scratch and making it complete, of giving sense and feelings in shape of traces and colors; Mina interacted with the world not with letters and words, but with palettes and characters she built to the most minimal detail.

 

That was the reason why she refused to decrease her work load, but that was also the key word.

 

Work.

 

It’s tricky to have a job where you do something you’re really passionate about, because when you start getting paid to do something you love, that love starts to corrupt itself with pressure and responsibilities; soon the passion starts to become a burden, and chaos follows closely behind it. Not that all people gets the same unfortunate experience, but Mina was the kind of girl who didn’t respect her own limits and kept pushing herself to do more and more perfectly.

 

She stared at the screen and sighed for the nth time; her current project, a concept art for a videogame company, was missing that special detail that made it complete.

 

Mina was starting to freak out over the fact that she couldn’t find proper inspiration for it, she’d even asked Chaeyoung about it over the phone –Mina absolutely refused to leave her room until she got on her ‘creative zone’ and finished the project-, and as much as she tried to help, it wouldn’t make a difference for the older girl. She bit her lower lip, tugging at the delicate skin with her teeth while uselessly staring at her screen, looking at the fairytale inspired character like they would magically come to life and tell her what they were missing.

 

She sighed _again_ and tapped her own shoulders, trying to release some of the tension on them. She gave another look to the screen and then around her own room; the sketches on the walls mocking and reminding her that she could actually do better than that; then her desk, which could be completely spotless and organized if it wasn’t for the Post-it she kept around the screen and the sides of her computer. She spotted a certain one and smiled.

 

_“Lesson one: If you exist, you live; If you live, you can do anything.”_

 

The girls could call her corny or cheesy, but she wouldn’t mind; the comforting words on the letter still lingered on her restless thoughts and somehow made her feel better, she did wonder who they’d come from, but Mina was the kind of person who lived better under the expectations and fantasies created by her own overactive imagination.

 

She looked at the Post-it and then the screen and chuckled.

 

She was ready to get herself in some trouble so she picked up her digital pen and hovered over the delete button.

 

“Well, here goes nothing. If I mess up, it’s your fault, soon to be ex-neighbor.”

 

There was something really satisfying about destroying certain things, like a catharsis of sorts; the illustrator let out a breathy laugh while she stared at the now blank screen and pushed the ‘New project’ button while chuckling.

 

She may or not had a slight idea of who could be the inspiration for her new character.

 

From the other side of the bedroom wall, a concerned Tzuyu raised one of her eyebrows and looked at her two friends who shrugged.

 

“She finally lost her mind, didn’t she?” Dahyun whispered, still playing on her phone.

 

“You owe me ten bucks.” Chaeyoung smirked from the bed. “I told you she’d lost it before the weekend.”

 

“Fuck you, you still owe me from the stuff I let you use the other day.”

 

“You’re betting over Mina’s sanity?” The taller one among them asked.

 

“Come on, don’t look at us like that, you big amazon. It’s a practical investment, besides, Mina losing it has become the only fun thing we get to see these days.” Dahyun complained, pouting at Tzuyu and laying down over Chaeyoung’s legs on the bed.

 

Then they all heard a loud laugh and a gleeful squeaky sound from the other side of the wall.

 

“Touché.”

 

“Told ya.” Chaeyoung smiled.

 

**

 

She smiled at the words on the piece of paper she found folded on her notebook, sliding her digits over the neat penmanship and the small doodles around the page, including a very stressed looking tiny penguin and a lot of clouds; she didn’t actually see anyone besides her go up to the rooftop the evening before the party, but she did spend the night on Jeongyeon’s bedroom so there might be the possibility of some restless dreamer hanging around on their not so secret spot.

 

Momo stretched her sore muscles under the morning sun and let out a satisfied sigh, picking up the notebook and hiding it again under the old table before starting on her morning routines.

 

The music playing on the background, and coming from her old portable radio was loud enough to be heard by her and to not disturb the people under her.

 

She could already hear the collective groans and hangovers from the rest of the people living on the building, and chuckled thinking about Jeongyeon’s; the short haired student was known for getting really grumpy after drinking even when Nayeon and Momo helped to ‘sober her up’ after.

 

“I’m sorry I’m late, I didn’t think you’d be up; didn’t you drink last night?” Jihyo asked, squinting while looking at the sky. The older girl walked towards the radio and changed the CD.

 

“You always wake up this early, why are you so surprised?” The dancer asked, bobbing her head to the catchy rhythm.

 

“Because the others were talking last night, about how much the three of you went hardcore on the party.” The older girl stated, taking notes when Momo started dancing.

 

“Weren’t you there? Didn’t you see us?” Momo questioned, turning gracefully. “I like this part, keep it on the track.”

 

“I was… Occupied on certain affairs.”

 

“Doing who?”

 

Jihyo chuckled and slid her hand through her hair, putting loose strands behind her ear; if Momo didn’t knew better, she could have sworn she was being shy about it. She stopped dancing and went to sit beside the older girl, giving her a knowing look before peeking on her notes.

 

“How’s the business going?”

 

“I’m getting attention from other producers and some kids from my school are relying on me for their EP’s, it’s going well; but that’s not the reason why I needed you here so early.”

 

Momo frowned and Jihyo closed her notepad, leaving it on the old table before turning towards her.

 

“Oh… Okay, what is it?”

 

“I’m worried about you, I mean, not just you, but also Nayeon and Jeongyeon.” Momo’s eyebrows shot up and she nodded slowly, encouraging the older girl to elaborate. “I don’t know what’s exactly going on between the three of you even though I have an idea, I obviously won’t judge if you’re concerned about that. But you just got into a dance company, Momo, a dance company that eventually will have to travel around and… Things might get complicated.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Jeongyeon talked to me last night, I think you and Nayeon were here at the moment.”

 

“What did she told you?”

 

“That I cannot tell.” She answered solemnly. “The point of this conversation is, that I’ve known you for a while and I know how you are.”

 

Momo sighed and looked at her hands, when she looked back to Jihyo, the older girl was staring at the morning sky.

 

“You’re like the sun, Momo, warm and shiny; and as you like to say sometimes, we’re all stars in our own ways… I’m just afraid that Nayeon and Jeongyeon end up becoming the moon on this metaphor.

 

“Jihyo…”  


“They might not be able to shine without you.”

 

They both kept quiet and Momo took a deep breath.

 

The dancer never questioned the nature of the relationship she shared with both Nayeon and Jeongyeon; the relation with the former had been something actually natural, something that started years ago while growing up together, almost like something meant to happen no matter what; and when Jeongyeon came along, it was surprisingly easy, even considering the unorthodox dynamics they started following.

 

Even though neither of them actually put a name to whatever thing they had going on, they enjoyed it, and they were comfortable and happy.

 

Still, Momo understood Jihyo’s concerns; she would soon leave them to follow after her dreams and the three of them were too used to each other to just let go that easily. The dancer was trying to keep them inside the bubble until the last possible moment, she just cared too much to allow herself to make them feel bad about anything.

 

“It will be okay.” The older girl told her, reassuringly. “I’m just saying that you need to stop dancing around the subject, no pun intended, and talk things out. You know they’ll support you no matter what.”

 

Hirai Momo was known both because of her bright smile and hopeful eyes, but Park Jihyo surely had a talent to see beyond that, to see the insecurities laying beneath; that’s the reason why the dancer let herself be emotionally bare in front of her.

 

“I’m scared; a lot of things will start to change.” She admitted, and Jihyo put an arm around her shoulders.

 

“We need change on our lives, Momo, it makes life fun. In your case, this particular change carries your dream. I just want you to understand that hiding things from them won’t do any good.”

 

**

_Dear dreamer, who has some serious drawing skills (are you an art student? I liked the penguin very much, even though she looks like needing a break);_

_I have to say I was pleasantly surprised when I got your answer, and even more happy knowing that I, somehow saved the world from an apparently very dangerous meltdown._

_You’ll be very surprised that I’m no therapist, no poet, and certainly not wise at all; I’m just a person trying to constantly see the good things in everything, it’s such a waste of time to let us sulk over things we shouldn’t. I’m an optimistic, if you’d like; and, believe it or not, I might be going through a situation that requires me to choose the right battles (or only one, but a really big gone). I thought about it for a long time and I think the wisest and healthiest thing to do it’s to choose taking in consideration how good would WE feel about it._

_Our battles are ours to fight, but in order to win them, we have to think about ourselves first._

_You wrote about hardships, I guess that’s your current problem, right? Well, in my opinion, too hard it’s when something you enjoy doing suddenly becomes a painful burden. If that happens, the best thing to do is to take a step back and take a deep breath; consider your options, remember you’re bigger than your problems because you have the control over your life._

_I might not be an expert on this kind of predicament, but I think you shouldn’t overthink it, what does your instinct tell you? And forget the people around you, just think about yourself, what does the little voice inside your head tell you? Can you overcome this? Is this obstacle even yours to overcome?_

_I was re-reading this, and I apparently found the solution to my ‘problematic situation’_

_How ironic is to know how to give advice but not knowing what to do on your own life in certain situations._

_Anyways, penguin dreamer, I think the answer might be already on your heart, but you just needed someone to point it out._

_And I think I should thank you for helping me to figure this out too._

_Lesson two (for the two of us): When your brain it’s about to explode, your heart might already have the answer._

_Sincerely yours;_

_Your neighbor here on the Dreamer’s Den, who’s really excited to have someone to write to._

 

**

 

“Tzuyu.”

 

“Tzuyu, wake up.”

 

The voice she heard on the distance wasn’t strong enough to pull her out from dreamland, but sweet enough to make her smile unconsciously; she made a humming sound and refused to open her eyes yet. Tzuyu was, surprisingly, a very heavy sleeper, and was perfectly capable to sleep through Chaeyoung’s and Dahyun’s usual rants or discussions, an unexpected trait coming from the terminator scout girl –As Dahyun liked to call her– but adorable nonetheless.

 

She started regaining consciousness as she felt the weight of someone over her, soon, very familiar fingers started brushing strands of hair out of her face and her own hands found warm thighs, each one on either side of her hips.

 

“Good morning, Mina.”

 

“Finally, I was about to call your boss to wake you up.” Her velvety voice replied, chuckling.

 

Tzuyu smiled and slowly opened her eyes, letting them adapt to the rooms light before looking up at the girl on top of her.

 

It was too early in the morning to be this breathless, or so she thought.

 

The Mina effect, Chaeyoung likes to call it like that, and she totally agreed.

 

“You’re in a good mood today.” Tzuyu noted.

 

“Yup.”

 

“It’s about that project of yours?”

 

“Another hundred points for Griffyndor.”

 

“I’m a slytherin.”

 

“Irrelevant to this conversation.”

 

“Really, now?” She raised one of her eyebrows, her thumbs caressing up Mina’s thighs, making the latter hum in confirmation; Tzuyu didn’t fail to notice Mina’s body language, a skill she had acquired with the time, the subtle movements and the brief bites she gave on her lower lip; the way her eyes, usually avoiding, stared at her own fingers like she was trying to find the resolution to finally touch her. “Would you, by chance, let me get up and go brush my teeth before you start kissing me? Because you look like you want to.”

 

But, of course, who was she to deny the desires she shared with the older girl? She was ready to comply in the moment Mina, still sitting on her stomach, tied her hair up in a bun and bent over to meet her lips in a slow kiss. Her hands easily found Mina’s hips as she sat up to kiss her properly; neither of them minded the morning breaths nor the messy hair, it was comfortable like that for them.

 

“I made breakfast…” Mina sighed when Tzuyu started kissing her jaw and travelled all the way to a certain spot on her neck she had found several nights before. “And coffee for you too.”

 

“I hate coffee.” The older girl barely heard her, Tzuyu’s voice muffled by the skin she was tasting, which happened to be hers.

 

“No, you don’t.”

 

“I’m trying to get you naked here, Mina, I’ll say anything.” She groaned when the older girl softly moved her hips. “You’re not helping me on my predicament.”

 

“I didn’t think it’d escalate so quickly.” Both of them moaned when Tzuyu grasped Mina’s hips and guided them to grind against her, smirking against her neck. “O-or maybe I did.”

 

The taller girl rolled them over, leaving a breathless Mina under her on the sheets before pecking her lips and getting up with a smug smile on her face.

 

“And that’s my cue, remember the kids are sleeping next door.” Tzuyu reminded Mina, and the latter started blushing intensely when she was reminded of it; she had, after all, been too engrossed on her project the night before so she neglected the fact of the two trouble makers sleeping on Tzuyu’s bedroom.

 

“They live in the apartment in front of us, why did you let them sleep on your room?” She covered her head with a pillow and Tzuyu thought she was adorable.

 

“Because I didn’t know you’d be like this today, and I have to work early today so I thought you might appreciate the company.” Tzuyu took off her t-shirt and shorts, unfazed by the looks Mina gave her way after letting the poor pillow go.

 

It wasn’t that she didn’t feel flattered by the way she stared at her body, because _she really did_ , but Tzuyu knew her well enough to know how nervous the shy woman would feel if she made a comment about it.

 

It was funny considering the fact she was just grinding on her lap, but Tzuyu reassured her every time so, that was it.

 

“I like your body very very much.” Her soft voice called her attention and she turned, holding a pair of jeans on her hands. “Is that weird?”

 

“It isn’t, I like yours too, Mina.” She answered with a soft smile, dressing up with her jeans and a white button up. “I have to go soon; will you be okay with the girls?”

 

“Absolutely, you know I enjoy to hear them while I’m working… I’m just feeling really embarrassed right now.” She sighed, getting up from the bed and walking towards the taller girl, reaching out to fix the button up collar. “I really wanted to show them the concept art I’m working on.”

 

“Don’t stress, I’ll talk to them if you’d like; I promise they won’t say anything inappropriate about us.” She assured, smiling at her before giving her a pat on the hip. “See you later?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll be finishing this.” She replied, pointing at her computer with her thumb.

 

“And you have to tell me about this… Something that made you wake up in such a good mood today, deal?”

 

“Deal.” Mina nodded, hugging herself and giving Tzuyu a bright smile before watching her go to the door and leave, closing it behind her.

 

She sat in the floor when the door was finally closed, and she curled in a ball of shame, wondering how loud she had moaned and mentally slapping herself for not remembering Dahyun and Chaeyoung.

 

Meanwhile, Tzuyu arrived in the kitchen to find the two girls smirking in her direction, Dahyun even wiggled her eyebrows and the tall barista chuckled.

 

“So…” The pale pianist started, elbowing a very mischievously curious Chaeyoung.

 

“So?” Tzuyu repeated.

 

“Did you get a morning quickie? I didn’t know Mina could be that loud to be honest, you kinky beasts.” Dahyun said, and Chaeyoung chocked on the milk she was drinking. “Damn bro, you okay?”

 

“I think I’m dying.” She croaked out, and Dahyun patted her on the back.

 

“Okay, don’t die yet, I’ll make this as short as I can before I run to my job.” Tzuyu started to get both girls attention. “Mina and I aren’t dating, we’re just friends who happen to enjoy having a healthy sex life like any other person but without the strings of a relationship and you both know it; I just wanted to ask you guys to not make comments like that in front of Mina, you know how she is and she’s probably curled into a ball right now because you heard her.”

 

The both younger girls nodded understandingly, and Tzuyu felt grateful that those two nerds knew when to shut up in serious situations.

 

“Don’t worry, captain.” Dahyun punched her softly in the shoulder. “We’ve got this, not weird comments in front of our penguin.”

 

“We’re just happy.” Chaeyoung added and Dahyun nodded in agreement, giving Tzuyu a cup of coffee. “When we met her she wouldn’t stand anyone being too close or looking at her for too long without getting anxious.”

 

“She’s just not a people person.”

 

“But a DaChaeTzu person.” Dahyun noted, smiling widely. “She only hangs out with the cool people on this building.”

 

“Debatable.” Tzuyu rolled her eyes and drank the last of her coffee before grabbing her jacket. “I’ll be back by ten; and also, Mina said she wanted to show you guys the thing she has been working on. She’s in a good mood today so you can hang out on her room.”

 

“I thought she was having her monthly meltdown?” Chaeyoung questioned and Tzuyu just shrugged, taking her keys before leaving the apartment with a wave.

 

“That’s a new one.” Dahyun raised one of her eyebrows and looked at an equally surprised Chaeyoung.

 

After a couple minutes, the both of them finished the breakfast that was meant for Tzuyu and brought the last toast to Mina’s room, shouting from the outside of her room like a couple kids.

 

“Minarin! You better be working on the drawing I asked you, I wanted to be a badass samurai.”

 

**

 

_Dear soon-to-be ex-neighbor;_

_I’m really glad I was helpful on your way to discover the answer to your problems, it seems like we make a good team in that aspect and I wouldn’t be happier about it. You must be the first person who tells me to listen to my heart in a serious manner, usually, in the world we live in, the fact and measurable factors are more important that anything regarding feelings; I know, it sucks big time, but it makes of your advice something more valuable and unique._

_I felt quite inspired after reading your last letter, and trust me, inspiration was really needed at the moment; I re did my entire project and felt super awesome about it, it feels good to destroy certain things and I never would have guessed in a million years I would think or say anything like that, I’m kind of a perfectionist._

_But, enough about work and destroying problems. I would like to know, does the sky look beautiful for you tonight as well? I just came up to look for the notebook and I looked up to find such beautiful colors and palettes on the sky; it is breathtaking to see a proper sunset on this rooftop, but, now that I think about it, you know about that better than me, don’t you? You must spend more time than me on this place._

_I don’t spend too much time out of my apartment, one of the pros –or cons for some people– of working from home, so I don’t get to see much of the sky. Not that I’m complaining, I do enjoy the comfort of my personal cocoon, I’m just not an outdoors person unless we count the convenience store in front of the building, I do spend a lot of time there._

_When would you say it’s the best moment to see the stars from the rooftop? It’s kind of hard to do so since there’s a lot of lights coming from the city (And let’s not forget about that huge neon sign in front of the building), so I thought you might know._

_I’m currently feeling like spending a quiet time on the rooftop, watching the sky, the stars moving just as time passes by; like you said, take a step back and take it all in, consider options and all that._

_For once, I don’t want to rush things or work desperately to meet a deadline. Did I tell you I’m an illustrator and I really love what I do? Even if I’m not working, I can’t help but doodle around in every piece of paper I get my hands on, including my letters so maybe that’s a proper answer to your first question._

_My dream it’s to work for a videogame company, a big one, if you know your way around videogames, you might know which one I’m talking about._

_What’s your dream? You won’t be my neighbor for much longer, that means you’re close to make it true, right? How long will you stay here before you have to go?_

_I need to know if you’ll be here enough for me to know all about your dream and that mind of yours._

_If that’s not the case, maybe we can write longer letters?_

_Just a suggestion, considering how much did you spark my already over the top curiosity._

 

_Sincerely yours;_

_The overthinking penguin, who’s also really excited and curious about her soon-to-be ex-neighbor._

**

 

Another night, another song playing on the old CD player and the same old table and chairs surrounding it. Nayeon and Jeongyeon grew to love the place, not quite because of the place itself but the beauty it held every night, around nine or ten, when everyone was sleeping or minding their own business and both of them had the privilege to watch Momo practice –she started practicing more since she got the acceptance from the dance company, she was hardworking like that–, or simply writing those letters she was so interested in lately.

This time, it was the former one.

 

They usually spent time there practicing, whether it was Nayeon’s artistic technique or Momo’s dancing, and Jeongyeon, well, let’s just say she had a hard drive full of footage of them, safely hidden and waiting for the moment the both of them became famous and she had the privilege to direct a documentary about them.

 

The two older women girls sat by the table and watched her quietly and then each other, because they knew that if they stared too long, they would fall again in the trap that was Hirai Momo and her magical movements.

 

“She has us wrapped around her little finger, and I can’t bring myself to disagree with that fact.” The artist stated, using her nails to take of the remnants of paint from her palms. “I never thought I’d look forward to a dance company presentation in my life.”

 

“I guess she has that effect on people.”

 

“She inspires people, and you can’t see that often nowadays.”

 

“Are we idolizing her?” Jeongyeon asked, glancing towards Momo, who smiled at them before opening her water bottle and drank from it.

 

“We’re just acknowledging how wonderful she is… I feel the same about you, Jeongyeon. The three of us love each other, that’s why we’re what we are.” Nayeon extended her hands and held the other girl’s one, caressing the skin with her thumbs.

 

“It’s hard, to know we’ll have to give her up. I wanted to be selfish, but I can’t bring myself to do it. Do you feel like this? Is it hard for you too?”

 

“You know, it might be for the both of us, at least for a while… But you said something last night, after we made love. And I realized something, I realized that people will always forget what you said, everyone will forget what you did... But no one, no one will forget how you made them feel.”

 

Jeongyeon smiled softly and kissed the back of Nayeon’s hand.

 

They’d make it through, for Momo.

 

And for themselves.

 

**

 

“Guys? Where’s the neon sign?” Momo suddenly asked, walking towards them.

 

“Which sign?”

 

They both frowned and Momo confusedly looked up to the sky, easily finding the stars without any light obstruction.

 

“The neighbor said that she can’t see the stars because of the neon sign.” She insisted, frowning and looking around from the rooftop.

 

“Which neighbor?” Jeongyeon asked and Momo pouted.

 

“There isn’t any luminous sign near this building, the only place you can find those is downtown or the commercial district.” Nayeon added.

 

“But she also mentioned a convenience store across the street...”

 

Both of them shared a concerned look when Momo suddenly looked disturbed.

 

“Who are you talking about, babe?” Nayeon asked cautiously, Momo just looked at her and shook her head, suddenly turning off the CD player.

 

“It doesn’t matter, just go back to Jeongyeon’s, I’ll catch up with you guys in a bit.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll go right after you… I’ll just write one more letter.”

 

**

 

Mina ran upstairs with a big smile, opening the rooftop door and practically jumping towards the table and the notebook hidden underneath.

 

The letters had quickly become an important part of her life, even if only one month had passed since she and the mysterious neighbor met.

 

Dahyun and Chaeyoung followed her after a couple minutes, curious about several comments the older girl often made when the three of them had their ‘playtime’ together while Tzuyu was working, something that was supposedly awesome and straight out from a comic book; it looked like Mina had made a new friend, and the two young girls sure appreciated making new ones, especially if it involved Mina.

 

When they got to her, she was looking very intrigued and confused.

 

“Mina?” Chaeyoung asked, worried about the sudden mood change.

 

“Is this really happening?” She asked to no one in particular, holding a piece of paper and several sketches.

 

Dahyun looked over Mina’s shoulder and looked at one of the sketches, silently asking for the illustrator to hand it over so she could check it out.

 

“What? It’s an old drawing from the convenience store building.” She figured out, after walking towards the edge of the rooftop and looking across the street. “Before they remodeled the building, I guess. Did you make it? I thought you moved in here a year ago or something.”

 

“No, I didn’t make it…” Mina suddenly smiled, and reached for the pencil tucked behind Chaeyoung’s ear, grabbing the old notebook and opening it in a blank page. “You guys won’t believe this, Dahyun, please pick two random numbers.”

 

“O-okay… fourty four and thirteen. What are you doing, Minarin?” Dahyun curiously asked when Mina showed them the page where she wrote ‘44x13’ and gave the pencil back to Chaeyoung.

 

“She’s waiting for me.” She said, looking at her wrist watch, and both of them frowned. “Just wait for it and you’ll see.”

 

Mina closed the notebook with a smile and hid it under the table, the two younger girls grew even more confused by the second.

 

Then Mina started counting, a confused Dahyun shot a confused look to an equally lost Chaeyoung who shrugged.

 

“And, fifty.” Mina finally said, practically bouncing on her heels before grabbing the notebook back.

 

She went through the pages until she found the numbers, both girls by her side when she read a messily written ‘572’ besides the multiplication she wrote a minute ago.

 

“Woah, that’s an awesome trick, Mina.” Dahyun started.

 

“What? No-“

 

“The force is strong with this one” The artist quickly added.

 

“No!”

 

“You’re a wizard, Harry.” The pianist finished, flabbergasted.

 

And that was the first time Chaeyoung and Dahyun heard Mina _scream_ out of frustration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still with me? Good!   
> Confused? Perfect!


	3. The City Talks Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things need to be destroyed so they can be built again.  
> The universe always finds its balance, always stays the same and so different at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back, with a longer and more confusing chapter, ok no, this one might answer some of your questions, or maybe not; the thing is I can tell you is that time isn't always linear, and you should take that into consideration while reading this.
> 
> Hope you like, as always, thank you for reading and your kind comments and opinions.

Both girls walked around the music store, rummaging through old or used vinyl’s and CD’s in the usual treasure hunt they did every week; the place became a sort of refuge for them since they found it hidden on a very old street. Dahyun looked at the covers and read the back like it was a new book every time, and Chaeyoung was more like the instinctual buyer, choosing her music based on the ‘hunch’ she got by the name or the art in the cover.

 

“What mood are you into today? Smashing Pumpkins or… Message to Bears?”

 

“Message to Bears, we already know the Smashing Pumpkins.” Chaeyoung replied after glancing at the used CD’s on Dahyun’s hands.

 

“Anything I can help you with?” A feminine voice asked, and the two girls turned to look at the woman who was entering the store with a couple boxes, handling them to the cashier on the back of the store.

 

Both girls watched her as she ran her fingers through her wavy brown hair, a kind and bright smile decorating her face when she approached them again, taking a peek at the CD at Dahyun's hands; she hummed and looked around the store, like she was looking for something.

 

"You're in for a treat with that one... But, we have another, from the same artist you might really like." She scurried around a shelf and picked another CD. "You need to hear Maps, it's a really good LP."

 

Chaeyoung received the CD from the woman's hands and looked at the cover, curious about the genre but that was exactly the point of their shopping method. The disc changed hands when Dahyun asked to see it, the movement didn't go unnoticed by the other woman, who was observing the interaction with excitement.

 

Dahyun looked at the woman and smiled politely when she found herself being stared at; the warm look on the other female made it hard for her to feel uncomfortable, but she still didn't quite know how to react.

 

"You are a musician." The woman stated more than asked, giving the pale girl a satisfied smile, Chaeyoung just raised one of her eyebrows and elbowed her friend softly, almost unnoticeable.

 

"How do you know?"

 

"Your hands, and the fact that you seem to come here every week and take a random CD; only musicians have that kind of hands... And only music students are so eager to know different genres."

 

"Are you a musician too?" Chaeyoung asked, curiosity completely taking over.

 

"Something like that, I'm a student, music production and engineering." The woman stated proudly and Chaeyoung opened her mouth in awe. "And you guys?"

 

"You're the observant one, you tell us." Dahyun playfully replied.

 

"Oh, challenge accepted." She snapped her fingers and quickly gave the two girls a once over, briefly pursing her lips in concentration before smiling brightly again. She pointed at Chaeyoung first. "Artist, a painter, right? Your bag has paint stains."

 

"Whoa, you're good, ten out of ten would challenge again, a mentalist."

 

"And you, you are either a pianist or a producer." She chuckled, looking at Dahyun and slightly tilting her head to the side. "Your hands speak for you."

 

"Pianist, I'm studying to become an orchestral composer; this is my friend Chaeyoung and I'm Dahyun, nice to meet you..."

 

"Sana, Minatozaki Sana." She extended her hand and shacked theirs politely. "Now let's get those CD's a new home, shall we?"

 

Both of them noted how warm the woman was, considering the fact she has just formally met them, even if they were clients in that place since they got to the city; she made the whole store much more special for them, more inviting in a sense. They walked behind her towards the end of the store, where the cashier was.

 

"How long have your worked here, Sana-ssi?" Chaeyoung asked while Dahyun paid for the CD's "You must know everything about music."

 

"Two years, give or take; I already heard every CD here and I still don't know enough." Both of them chuckled, like it was their own thing to measure the time in songs and albums. "I'm more focused in making my own music right now."

 

That definitively got Dahyun's attention, she took the eco-bag from the cashier and bowed respectfully before turning towards the two chatty girls.

 

"Do you have a study? Are you producing already?" Sana chuckled at the question.

 

"Not yet, but I'm currently working at a label as an assistant producer so I do have access to some really cool stuff, including music studios."

 

"Awesome." The two younger girls gasped softly at the same time, making Sana's eyes glisten with excitement.

 

"You should totally hang out with us, Dahyun here wants to create music too, and I love to hear music so... That makes two out of two."

 

"You can come here to hangout any time you want, you're welcome here."

 

"Sweet." Dahyun took her phone out of her pocket and extended it to Sana. "Give us your number and we can arrange something; we both like to hang out on the rooftop of our building too, you know, drink some beers and listen to music."

 

"Two friends for the price of one, sounds amazing." Sana replied after saving her number on both Dahyun's and Chaeyoung's phones. "See you guys soon? I was supposed to deliver those boxes and go back to my boss' office."

 

"Sure, talk to you later; we'll text you."

 

Both of them bowed to the older woman and she waved to the cashier before winking towards the girls and leave the store practically running.

 

"Well, that was a thing."

 

"She's so cool." Dahyun sighed.

 

"Right? And she's like, super pretty."

 

"Preach, bro."

 

"Do you think she can read minds?" Chaeyoung gasped softly, but playfully.

 

"Probably. Let's go home, Mina and Tzuyu are waiting for us."

 

After leaving the store, both girls headed home without a real rush, Dahyun was checking her phone and Chaeyoung looked around until the stores stopped being the main protagonists of the streets and the young inhabitants of the residential side of the city started painting a new scenario; for most people, the artist's view on the world would be very over-analyzing, but she had people to talk with about those thoughts often clouded her over-active mind, like the fact that she liked the way the city morphed around her when she walked back home from the art gallery and saw young students sitting on parks and playing grounds, trying to find a proper spot to study.

 

Her eyes stopped when she saw a couple on the sidewalk on the other side of the street, both of them were kissing quite passionately and the artist slightly tilted her head to the side.

 

"Do you believe in fate, Dubu?" She suddenly voiced out, making the other girl gaze up at her.

 

"Why do you ask?"

 

They kept walking, and Chaeyoung just shrugged, looking at her friend.

 

"I was thinking about terminating my association with the art gallery."

 

"What, but why?" Dahyun asked, concern all over her face.

 

"That's a whole other story, I'll explain later; anyway, when I was on my way to deliver the last piece I stopped by a park, I don't even know why, but I stopped and sat on a bench. I just sat there for ten minutes, trying to figure out why I was there, staring at nothing. Then I lean forward to fix my shoe laces and when I look up I see this little girl looking at me, literally staring and then staring at my painting like she was trying to figure out something." She paused for a second, trying to make sense of the situation before she started explaining. "I asked her if she was lost, but she said no; I didn't see anyone with her, so I asked again and she interrupted me while pointing at the painting, asking me if I was the 'paintist' and I said that I was, that I wouldn't do it anymore. She looked me dead in the eye then, Dahyun, and I swear no one had ever looked at me like that... "

 

"Like what?"

 

"Like she would die if I did so." She stopped for a while, letting Dahyun process the information. "She just looked at me like that for like three minutes before someone called for her, when she turned her face back to me she told me to keep painting, that it was very important that I'd keep painting."

 

"... That sounds like something that didn't happen, if you ask me."

 

"I know... It's so strange, but by the time I got to the art gallery, I couldn't bring myself to resign; her little face popped up in my mind the whole day, and that's why I got up earlier today, I had to go to the studio to work in more pieces."

 

Dahyun kept silent and looked at Chaeyoung until her confused expression turned more gleeful and she chuckled softly.

 

"I think I do believe in fate, Dubu, I mean, I met a little girl that inspired me so much just when I needed it the most. And today we met the girl from the music store, who happens to know her way into a music studio and knows lots about music, just when you need to work on your compositions, isn't it weird?"

 

"If you put it that way, it was funny to meet her... But I think they're just pleasant coincidences, wouldn't fate mean something greater? Like the love of your life or a million dollars?"

 

"Come on, you know better than thinking that romantic love is the ultimate goal in life. But, that aside, you can't deny it's awesome."

 

"You might be right, I might be wrong or vice-versa, but right now, I'm feeling really happy that your little muse inspired you so much and that's the only thing that matters."

 

"I just hope I live up to her expectations."

 

"Her expectations?"

 

"I'm planning to do a series... Just for her." Chaeyoung stated proudly, with a determined expression on her face, leaving Dahyun dumbfounded.

 

**

 

The cold pierced at her skin through the wet jacket, sending shivers through her whole body; the books, long forgotten on her drenched backpack made extra weight to her already tired and weak frame. She couldn't wait to get home so she could slip into her pyjamas and hang out with her parents, maybe drink hot tea with her father, sharing his birthday cake.

 

She thought about the red umbrella while she walked back home, and the woman carrying it; it looked like it was such an unnecessary item while it hanged on her forearm, and the young girl would surely be grateful if she had brought her own that day at school. She had found herself staring at her curiously, secretly wondering what had her so anxious; the young girl started imagining possible scenarios while she waited for her bus to arrive.

 

She was, maybe, a business woman, going to a meeting; or maybe not, since those women usually owned expensive cars and didn't actually wear sneakers for business meetings.

 

Maybe a college student? That would explain the exasperated expression on her face, she had seen it many times when she and her friends would walk by libraries and parks; college students always had something to stress about.

 

Her brain was more interested in imagining way more unusual scenarios anyway, so she guessed the young woman was probably a world-famous Broadway actress, running late for her rehearsal before her debut stage; the young girl could probably brag about it to her classmates the next day, when she found out who she was, if she didn't catch a cold anyway.

 

She watched the town pass her by as she walked, secretly wondering if she had done something good for someone when she let the young man with the wood pieces get on the bus instead of her.

 

The sidewalk accompanied her with wet sounds at every step; she looked at the sky and wondered when would the rain stop, and quickly guessed it was kind of dumb to wait for the rain to stop just for her, when she could easily enjoy the way back home if she looked at things in a slightly different way.

 

When she finally got home, both of her parents laughed at her stories about jumping on puddles until her shoes were more water than feet; her father mentioned one time when he stepped on a puddle that turned out to be way more deep that he had calculated on his way to school, and ended up in the hospital with hypothermia but school-free.

 

Her mother helped her to dry her hair and brought blankets for them to snuggle into while watching TV and sharing her father's birthday cake, even before the guests arrived to add even more warmth to the already cozy home she lived in.

 

She thought about the woman with the red umbrella and the young man, did they have something like she had? A warm place where they could go to after all the rain?

 

"What?" Her father inquired, giving her an eyesmile.

 

"I'm here now, and I feel lucky." Her father nodded understandingly, humming mysteriously before chuckling like he knew the secrets of the universe. "What is it, pops?"

 

"It’s because you walked in the rain."

 

“Huh?"

 

"The road is, in my humble experience, much more interesting than the finish line; the finish line might feel good, but the road it's what makes the finish line much more satisfying, you know?"

 

The young girl nodded and thought about it for a while; her father noticed and smiled warmly, he just hoped he was making the right decision.

 

He hoped they had raised her well but when he looked at her spacing out, and then his wife's expression while sitting beside him and looking at their daughter, he knew he had definitively done something right to deserve that kind of treasure for him to keep.

 

That night the rain washed many things, the drops falling from the sky carried away worries and mundane feelings, the young girl sat on her bed by the window after saying goodnight to her parents and their guests; she couldn't see the stars because of the clouds, but it was comforting to know they were still there, no matter how much time went by, just like loyal guardians of every soul walking the earth.

 

She left the curtains open when she laid down and covered her body with the sheets, looking at the sky until it started to get blurry in front of her eyes, the rain serving her as the sweetest of lullabies, telling her stories she couldn't understand yet, but made her feel in peace.

 

She liked grey days, and didn't understand why people thought grey days were sad; after all, grey is the shade that makes all the colors stand out in the most beautiful ways.

 

Something about things being slower when rain was falling over the city?

 

What was so terrible about slowing down and let the true colors of the world wash us clean?

 

The young student yawned and smiled when she closed her eyes, thinking that maybe she would understand everything she felt when she grew up, and maybe, if she was lucky, to be as wise as her parents.

 

**

 

Momo lay on her bed, looking at the ceiling like it would eventually deliver all the answers; she opened her mouth in confusion and then looked at the letter she was holding for another five minutes before turning her sight to the ceiling again. She wasn't paying attention to the uneven white paint, nor the lonely light bulb on the center; her mind was far away from there anyway.

 

She didn't mind her sore feet after the practice and shower that followed, the muscles on her legs aching a mere echo on the distance.

 

She had been exchanging letters with a complete stranger for one month already, and she loved every minute she spent reading about the mysterious penguin neighbor; that same thought brought shivers on her whole body when she realized that she had sent over thirty letters to someone who actually didn't existed there.

 

The first thing Momo noticed was the neon sign, but then again, anyone could lie about it and get away with it if told to an extremely naive person; the little things that came after were definitively suspicious, but when the stranger started to predict the local news headers day after day she started freaking out.

 

She almost stopped writing to her, almost.

 

But Momo was as curious as she was a good dancer, so she asked the stranger for a drawing of the building in front of the Den and promised to send another one back.

 

When she pulled a sleepy Nayeon upstairs and begged her to make a sketch for her to compare, she realized how easily she was trusting the most unbelievable thing someone had ever thrown her way, of course that didn't stop her from being fascinated about her little discovery. She hid all the letters under her bed, on one of her shoe boxes in hopes to show them to one of her friends if she gathered enough evidence for them to actually believe what she was starting to assume as a reality.

 

The footsteps outside her bedroom pulled her out from her reverie and she jumped from her bed to hid the letters she had been re-reading for investigation purposes. Jeongyeon didn't got to see the little treasure under her bed when she entered, instead being welcomed by a breathless Momo in an awkward position on the floor, like she was posing for a b-class fashion magazine.

 

"I was going to ask what were you doing, but I'm not so sure I want to know."

 

"Hi there, how was your class?" Momo smiled from the floor, not moving from her position, Jeongyeon just snorted and shook her head, smiling.

 

"You and Nayeon were again the highlight of the whole exposition, what did you expect?" She replied, sitting on Momo's bed and pulling her up to join her. "Where is she, by the way, I wanted to see the film with the both of you."

 

"Also in class, she'll be back by five or something." She poked Jeongyeon's ribs when the other girl laid down and covered her face with her arm, Momo sat beside her and rubbed her stomach. "Are you hungry? Why don't you get up and join me in the kitchen? We can put something together for you to eat."

 

"And by that, I assume you mean cook for you too." She smiled.

 

"You know me so well." Momo praised her, removing Jeongyeon's arm from her face so she could give her a peck on the lips. "So smart, no wonder you are the best on all of your classes."

 

"You only want me for my body and cooking skills."

 

"Hey, if it wasn't for you and Jihyo, Nayeon and I wouldn't have survived." She kissed the other girl's cheek and got up from the bed. "You should be proud of your ninja chef skills, and your cute butt, of course."

 

"They aren't that great."

 

"For me, they are."

 

"Momo, you... You burned a salad once, a salad, Momo, I don't know if I can trust your standards."

 

"Fair point."

 

**

 

_Dear Penguin Dreamer,_

_There's so many questions that need answers, but too many fears to actually ask; I always thought of myself as the kind of woman who wasn't easily scared by anything life decided to put on her way, but should I really have predicted that this kind of thing could happen? After all, fate always surprises us, right?_

_And even though I'm intrigued about the big elephant in the room right now, I'm more curious about the reasons why it's you, and why is it me; from billions of people in the world, how come we crossed each other’s paths? I know we are humans, we crave connections, but why this connection in particular was somehow possible? And why does it feel so right?_

_I'm a dreamer, an optimistic one, I love to see the beautiful things in every aspect of our world and how we interact with it; but do not confuse me with a person that doesn't pay attention to facts when it's necessary._

_We can fly if we want to, but we need to learn some physics to do so, right?_

_The thing is... I don't want to; I don't feel like I have to know how this is happening. Do you ever wonder how your body functions? How do cells order things to fibers, and fibers to muscles and then your body? You don't ask yourself how to breathe, you just breathe, right?_

_Right now._

_Do we need to know how it happened? or we need to know what it is?_

_Am I going insane, or actually something way beyond our understanding just happened to us?_

_I can't sleep at the moment, but don't worry, I will eventually; I just needed to write this down so I can put some kind of order on my train of thoughts, and maybe you can help me to not figure this out and just live it._

_Right now I'm thinking you are my personal miracle, penguin dreamer, and I hope you don't let me go, because I don't want to do so._

_If I'm dreaming, let it be; If I'm insane, let me get lost._

_Because this is the craziest thing that I've ever known about, but I can't stop smiling._

_I'm getting to it, but I think the what it's way more important than the why; if that thought it's enough for you to be considered one of our lessons, then so be it. Because I'm not thinking clearly and probably half of this letter doesn't make actual sense anymore._

_A miracle, and it just happened to us._

_Sincerely yours;_

_Your soon to be ex-neighbor, who's now sane in the middle of all this insanity._

 

**

 

Nayeon was trying too hard to not laugh, biting her lower lip and casually covering her mouth with her hand while she watched how both of her girls struggled in the kitchen, well, Jeongyeon was struggling, and not because she couldn't do it, but because of Momo. She watched them from the door, leaning her body against the frame; she did try to make her presence known in the apartment, but the two other girls were too busy bickering to hear.

 

"Momo, for Christ sake... Ketchup isn't the same."

 

"What it's made of, Jeongyeon?"

 

"Momo, don't, you ca-"

 

"What it is made of, Yoo Jeongyeon?"

 

"Tomatoes."

 

"That's right, tomatoes, that means that both things are basically the same, and by logic, ketchup is tomato sauce you can use for pasta... Trust me on this, Nayeon won't even notice."

 

After a couple minutes of debate about ketchup and tomato sauce, Nayeon cleared her throat and both girls turned around, startled by the presence of the older girl; she walked towards them and chastely kissed each one on the lips, chuckling at their antics when Momo tried to hide the ketchup bottle behind her and Jeongyeon elbowed her to be more discreet.

 

They did cook something together, eventually, and Momo was in charge of preparing the table for the three of them since Jeongyeon wanted to finish by herself and Nayeon went to her bedroom to change clothes for the evening; she started humming to herself while setting up some glasses on the table, it was one of her favorite tracks from Jihyo's collection and the one she was practicing with every night.

 

Soon, a hand laid on her lower back and her side rested against Jeongyeon’s front; she could recognize their perfumes everywhere, so she didn't feel the need to open her eyes when she felt her beside her.

 

"Hey there."

 

"Hey to you, chef." She answered turning her head to find Jeongyeon's warm gaze on her eyes, she couldn't help but wanting to kiss her right then, but the impulse was interrupted when Nayeon entered the room and went to hold Momo's other hand.

 

"Are you up for a little talk right before eating?" The eldest among them asked, nudging them to sit down.

 

"What's going on?" Momo asked confusedly and Nayeon just directed her look at Jeongyeon.

 

"Did we ever told you about how we met?" She interrupted Momo, and the short haired girl nodded her head, looking at the dancer. "We were around five years old at the time, and Santa brought her home for Christmas."

 

Both of the girls chuckled and Jeongyeon didn't quite know if she had to take that statement literally or not, since she didn't really know the entire story.

 

"I remember my dad saying to my mother that he knew we would be inseparable from that moment, and heck, he was right, I didn't let go from her little hand since that day."

 

"She let me borrow her crayons when I met her, and she promised she would teach me how to draw dogs." Momo commented warmly, holding Jeongyeon's hand and looking at Nayeon with such care and love.

 

"Of course I didn't know at the moment she would grow up to be a dancer, and not an artist as I expected, but I did teach her how to draw dogs."

 

"And I'll be forever grateful for that." The three of them chuckled then and Jeongyeon ran her fingers through Momo's hair. "Even though I don't quite understand where you're going with this conversation."

 

"The thing is, Momo, that I've never let go from you since we met... And I'm so proud to look at you right now and see how much you've grown, how much we've achieved." Nayeon's eyes glinted like she was holding back tears, and soon Momo's hands cradled her face, bringing her closer. "I just wanted you to know that I understand, that me and Jeong understand."

 

Momo looked at the sad expression on the short haired girl and then understood where the conversation was heading. She looked back and forward between the both of them, quite insecure about the reaction she should be having at the moment.

 

"Thank you for being our sun."

 

**

 

_Dear soon to be ex-neighbor,_

_Do you think that things like this happen often? Or is it something like out of our understanding, like so other many things on this universe. I don't personally think I'm ready to address something this big for its name, if what I think it is, is actually what it's happening._

_Some part of my brain still wants to believe that it's just a coincidence, or my sleepless brain trying to play tricks on me, maybe some light trick... But then there's the other part of me, that believes that you're more real than any other person I've ever met, is it bad for me to feel this way? I'm just growing used to your presence, one letter a day._

_Or maybe, maybe I am going crazy, slowly but surely._

_But then, again, someone once said that, sometimes, the most real things in the world are the things we can't see._

_Suddenly the idea of losing my mind doesn't sound so bad after all; it might be hard to understand for you, or maybe not, since you have the world record to the most understanding and kind person in the world, at least, out of us two, because in... In my place, my best friend kind of haves that title. You often call this place 'The Dreamer's Den' and I'm slowly beginning to understand why._

_A person like you must be a dream._

_And if I finally lose my mind because of this, well, I better make the best out of the opportunities I get, this including you, my dear soon to be ex-neighbor._

_Coincidentally, the best I get out of this, is you; I mean, nowadays, how many people like you exists on this world? Out of a miracle, a real life angel._

_It's funny how I can picture you smiling right now, even blushing a little bit if I'm lucky enough, and it's so comforting, warm. Call me insane, please call me crazy because my heart beats faster when the idea of bringing even a little bit of happiness to your days suddenly comes to my head._

_Maybe that's the reason why this happened to us; we didn't even know, but you needed me and I needed you and we found each other like it was supposed to happen._

_I don't know if there's a lesson I could teach you this time, but I think a really close one would be: The best things on this world, are the ones we cannot see._

_Sincerely yours;_

_The penguin dreamer, who's now insanely sane._

 

**

 

"Mina?"

 

"Yes?" She replied, her eyelids opening slowly to look at Tzuyu sipping from her morning coffee.

 

"Are you okay?"

 

She mindlessly played with the hem of her Hawkeye graphic t-shirt, barely touching the glass of milk in front of her until Tzuyu gave her a pointed look; Mina was sure she was holding a chuckle because she wouldn't stop staring at her messy hair, which she refuses to tame in order to be with the younger one before she left for another day of work.

 

Mina smiled softly after deciding to ignore the grin hiding behind Tzuyu's mug when she pretended to sip from it, because she felt so lucky to have a person like Tzuyu around her; the younger girl looked at her with such care and with that charming smile on her beautiful face, that Mina herself thought she was the most special person of the world around her. She held Tzuyu's hand across the small table and nodded.

 

"I'm fine, Tzuyu."

 

For the first time in a long time, Tzuyu actually believed her when she nodded.

 

"I had another audition, the other day." She started, pulling a strand of dark hair behind her ear.

 

Now, that definitively got Mina's interest immediately.

 

"Really? When? How did it go? Why didn't you tell me?"

 

"Your mind is somewhere else, Mina, and I can't bring myself to pull you out when I see you smiling like that."

 

Mina felt the bitter taste of guilt after hearing that, her stance shifted and Tzuyu noticed how her whole body started paying attention to her every movement. The barista looked down at the Rubik cube she picked up and started solving it because she felt selfish for wanting Mina to pay attention to all those details, all the looks she often directed at her and the implied meanings in everything she said.

 

"My happiness isn't different from the feeling I get every time you talk to me about something you love." Mina softly put her hands on Tzuyu's wrists, stopping her from moving the cube. "You are the Spock to my Kirk, after all."

 

Tzuyu smiled to her favorite nerd, leaving the Rubik cube aside and putting both of her hands around the warm mug.

 

"I went to a second call audition; it was basically the same as always, they took a lot of pictures and asked me about my previous experiences... " She put up one of her hands when Mina opened her mouth, worried about the outcome of that particular sentence. "But when I said I had none, they didn't care and asked me to improvise something with a line they picked for me."

 

Mina urged her to keep talking, her knees practically bouncing while she was sitting; Tzuyu felt her heartwarming at the excitement the other girl was showing.

 

"That's not even the best part, they even showed me a part of the script, you know how they never tell you anything about the plot until you're practically in? Well, they even asked if I was okay with filming for six months and actually asked for my contact information."

 

The illustrator practically squealed when she heard that, throwing herself to Tzuyu's arms on pure glee, barely giving her time to put the mug and her initial shock aside before she was welcomed in those familiar arms.

 

"I'm so proud of you, Tzuyu." She muttered against her hair, kissing her temple softly. It suddenly felt like it was supposed to feel, like an older girl congratulating a younger one.

 

And it felt so off.

 

The young barista ended up deciding she wouldn't comment on that, not yet at least, because it was Mina after all, and Mina always had unusual ways to do... Everything.

 

Maybe she just was too eager to know about her audition that she forgot to count the seconds it took her to finish the Rubik cube like she always did.

 

Maybe she was distracted and that was it.

 

Tzuyu sometimes forgot things too, like every human.

 

But she couldn't help but notice how Mina forgot to kiss her goodbye when she told her she'd be back by ten.

 

**

 

Momo's talk with the dance company director was nothing but a whole bunch of formalities and unnecessary compliments back and forth, like it was some sort of competition; she barely paid attention though, lost in her own thoughts and the fear that was starting to grow in the deepest part of her mind.

 

The talk with Nayeon and Jeongyeon was so smooth that it felt out of place when they stopped talking and started eating like nothing had just happened, like nothing was broken nor dissolved into dust where stars were shining before. They had told her they'd be okay, that nothing would really change when she went away, that they still cared and always would.

 

But even with those promises to watch her at every presentation and brag about her in every conversation, Momo still felt scared, and an empty space started growing inside her; her hands trembled while she tried to eat pasta, she looked up from her plate but Jeongyeon was smiling and so was Nayeon.

 

She thought she might hate them for being like that, not reacting when they all knew things were definitively going to change.

 

Momo was known for a lot of things on the dreamer's den.

 

And one of those things was that the girl was incapable of hating someone.

 

She remembered Jihyo talking about heartbreak one cloudy night when the both of them were sharing the rooftop, and she remembered the warnings. _"One can be a romantic, but you can't just say or feel you can't live without someone, because that's just not love, that's a desperate search for validation where's not supposed to be done"_

 

Momo knew that the conversation was unavoidable, she knew it had to happen and she knew she wouldn't hurt because it was them, and they would always be them. But what was that emptiness inside her? Why did she felt like she was missing something?

 

After dinner the three of them cleaned up and washed the dishes together; Jeongyeon washed, Nayeon dried and Momo stored. They hugged and whispered tired good nights before parting ways, Jeongyeon kissed her forehead before leaving the apartment and Momo just felt her lips against her skin, nothing more.

 

Nayeon went to her bedroom, something about finishing a project for class.

 

And Momo was left alone with her thoughts, a letter tucked into her pocket she had meant to show them after dinner, and the loud voice of the director speaking too fast into her ear through the phone, something about her meeting with her future colleagues and partners.

 

She agreed to meet them all on Monday, it was Friday.

 

Everything was peaceful and quiet when she entered her bedroom, even her footsteps were lighter and she had at least hoped she would feel guilty because of the break up, but she didn't.

 

Instead, the feeling in her stomach grew, confusing her completely.

 

She kneeled in front her bed and reached for her box of letters, opening it as carefully as her clumsy fingers allowed, and she felt comfort when the neat penmanship was on her sight again. She slid her fingertips over the paper and sighed because the more optimistic side of her heart insisted that the penguin neighbor would know exactly what so say in a situation like that specific one.

 

The other tiny bit of her heart wondered if she would actually stay forever.

 

Forever sounded funny now, almost ironic.

 

**

 

_Dear penguin dreamer;_

_Things are always changing, right? Like that chemistry class we all went through when we were young something about the matter always transforming, never being created nor destroyed._

_Things are changing for us now, they always did and always will; like our hearts and our feelings, always evolving, always keeping the balance in our souls._

_I think I found balance after a very eventful evening, and somehow I found it in your letters._

_Maybe that's our reason._

_I learnt something new today, about love, beginnings and endings; things never really end completely, they just make space for new things to happen and that doesn't mean we'll be forever stuck in a feeling so heavy it makes our steps feel like concrete._

_I think midnights make me wiser in a sense, they take all the childish impulses and the immature feelings away for a walk in the park, as my mother used to say. And that brings the next question for you to think about tonight:_

_Is it the silence, or just the time we have to ourselves the one that puts the answers in our hands? The ones we neglected because we were too busy worrying about things that seem so small when the night comes along, right in front of our noses._

_Maybe it's just a magical thing about midnights, you think a lot, or not at all, and it all depends on what your heart really needs._

_What does your heart need, penguin?_

_Sincerely yours,_

_Your very soon to be ex-neighboor (I'll explain soon, if everything goes as planned)_

 

**

 

"I had this horrible nightmare, horrible visions of hell and a lot of snakes trying to eat me."

 

"It's called life, Dahyun. Sit down." Chaeyoung sighed as she pushed a pale -more than usual- looking Dahyun towards the seat in front of the keyboard they had installed on Mina's bedroom, part of the arrangement where the two young girls made a soundtrack out of soft piano sounds and the poems Chaeyoung read out loud for the Illustrator to hear while she worked.

 

Mina chuckled when she entered the room behind them and went to give a pat on Dahyun's head -the girl had just woken up from her nap on Mina and Tzuyu's couch-, sitting on her desk and turning on her graphics tablet so she could continue with her work where she left it.

 

The illustrator glanced towards the letter on her desk, and the little note she found on the back, like a secret treasure that brought a smile on her face so easily it was almost dumb.

 

_"I'd really like to meet your midnights."_

 

A couple minutes after changing her clothes, this time a Batman hoodie and matching shorts -Chaeyoung had gotten those for her from a convention-, and a previous warming up sketches of the character she had created with _her_ as an inspiration, Mina started her meticulous coloring.

 

Dahyun started playing a classical piece, Mina could barely pronounce its name.

 

"I'm planning on telling Tzuyu tomorrow." Mina commented and Dahyun’s confident chords stuttered for an instant. "Everything."

 

She kept on playing anyway.

 

"Do you think she'll believe you?" Chaeyoung bluntly asked, sitting on Mina's bed and glancing towards the screen to check on the illustration. "It's Tzuyu who we are talking about anyway."

 

"She's not the kind of person that believes in magic or... Whatever this is." Dahyun added.

 

"Come on, Dubu, this isn't magic, it's like A Sound of Thunder, from 1952, does it ring any bells?"

 

"The butterfly effect?" Mina frowned, and Chaeyoung snapped her fingers.

 

“You guys are the weirdest nerds on history.” Dahyun mumbled under her breath.

 

"Exactly, I asked a couple friends of mine, they are really into astronomy and all that; they told me about warm and black holes in space, how they bend time and space with pure power. Maybe Mina found one, a really _really_ small one."

 

Dahyun started playing -and singing- the theme song from 2001: A Space Odyssey, both Chaeyoung and Mina decided to ignore her.

 

Mina kept working, trying to focus on what she was coloring as she thought of the possibility of astronomical disasters happening in an old rooftop; she loved comics and science fiction with a passion, but the things Chaeyoung was trying to explain were too complicated for her to grasp completely.

 

Or maybe the artist wasn't the best option to talk to regarding astronomy, physics and such.

 

"Damn, your friends have that good kush, don't they?" Dahyun commented, mindlessly practicing movements and progressions on the keyboard.

 

"We could say the same about Mina, if it wasn't for the fact that she actually proved she had a black hole apocalyptic notebook laying around somewhere."

 

"Maybe we shouldn't focus on the why, but the what." Mina muttered, making both of her friends stop talking and look at her.

 

There was silence on the bedroom, the only faint sound coming from Mina's smart pen against the screen.

 

"Mina's got that good kush."

 

"You owe me five bucks."

 

"Whatever, just keep playing."

 

**

 

The rain hit her face and she shivered, the roof barely there to cover her already soaked frame.

 

So cold, so cold.

 

Her backpack felt heavier than every other day, and she grunted while adjusting it.

 

The woman was still there, with the red umbrella ridiculously hanging from her arm while the rest of her body was drenched by the rain; her bun was undone and her shoes didn't look comfortable anymore. Her feet were poorly supported by high heels the young girl thought were more appropriate for a night out in summer than a raining day in the middle of winter.

 

She was in a rush, and time wasn't being nice with her; the young girl looked at her and felt the urge to know how did it feel, to have a countdown for everything.

 

Young kids think time is forever, adults are convinced that it's over.

 

The bus stop didn't offer proper shelter from the rain, but the young girl thanked the feeling of having something over her head. Her favorite hoodie, meant originally to protect her uniform from the exposition and the weather, was soon ruined by the rain and the mud; her knees hurt, but she didn't dare to look at them because she wasn't sure if the thing that was running down her legs was rain or actual blood.

 

She figured she could blame her clumsiness when her parents asked what happened.

 

"Is it, already?" She heard an unknown voice, and immediately looked at the woman, who was staring at the sky.

 

The young girl noticed she didn't have a wrist watch anymore.

 

"Does it matter?" She asked, and the red umbrella woman looked straight into her eyes.

 

"It always does."

 

The young girl shivered again when a thunder resounded in the sky, but found comfort in the fact that the bus was already on sight.

 

“Hey! Wait!” A voice could be heard from the sidewalk and the younger girl turned her head.

 

A young man was barely carrying pieces of wood longer than his body; a carpenter, maybe?

 

The young girl took a step forward when the bus was closing in, the hood of her jacket flying back and exposing her loose hair. The young man let go of the wood he was carrying but she didn't hear the sound of it clashing against the concrete of the sidewalk, she actually didn't hear anything since she heard the woman talk.

 

She took another step forward, looking at the man who was running so slowly towards her.

 

She didn't hear anything but the woman's voice, she didn't even hear her own footsteps when she ended up in the street, and the bus hit the brakes way too late for her to react.

 

She looked at the man, then the woman.

 

Then she saw nothing but the sky, and the rain pouring on her face

 

“Thank you, you just saved me, kid.” The woman said, and she didn't feel the pain her words were trying to hide underneath the red umbrella she finally decided to open.

 

Or maybe it was just the blood on her face making her see red everywhere.

 

**

 

She woke up gasping for air, sweat running down her brow and her heart beating strongly on her ears, almost deafening her. She grasped her bedsheets and looked around for something, anything that made her feel grounded again.

 

Soon the bedroom was clear for her to see thanks to the moonlight entering from the window with the curtains she always refused to close at night.

 

She felt too dizzy to get up from her bed, but too scared to lay back down and try to get back some sleep; one of her shaky hands found its place on her chest, like she was trying to stop her heart from getting out and escape from her chest. It took her a solid five minutes to convince her whole body that it was just a nightmare, that the heartache was unnecessary because there wasn't any actual danger on the familiar bedroom she had learned to love so easily.

 

Her shirt came off easily, hitting the floor quietly when she tossed it to the floor beside the bed, it was too sweaty for her to keep wearing it for the rest of the night. She convinced herself to lay back down and hug a pillow close to her chest, her eyes never stopped facing the window nor breaking her delicate connection with the sky.

 

"I'm okay." She whispered to herself, letting the lights into the room until her own eyes were way too tired to keep up with all of them. "Just one more day."

 

 

 


	4. Of Time and Leaps of Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things happen, murphy's law and all that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess which Raccoon made an ultra long comeback? Yup, this nerd right here.
> 
> Hope you enjoy, and as always, have a good day/night wherever you are.
> 
> let's gossip and cry on twt @DamnYouRaccoon

 

 

The day Mina met Minatozaki Sana was the same one in which she thought she might have died, or so it seemed considering the paleness of her face when she decided to visit the kitchen to get herself something to munch on, finding a total stranger eating from Tzuyu's secret stash of Oreos.

 

"Oh, you must be Mina."

 

A squeaky sound escaped her lips and her glasses almost fell from the bridge of her nose when the stranger smiled at her, and she was ready to make a run for the door when Dahyun appeared beside her, frowning after seeing her terrified expression. Clinging onto the girl for dear life, Mina gave the stranger a cautious look, waiting for Dahyun to explain the whole situation.

 

"I guess you met Sana, earlier than expected. I was actually on my way to your room to warn you." She explained, amused by the older girl's defensive posture. "This is Minatozaki Sana, a friend of mine and Chaeyoung; Sana, this is Mina, our resident nerd and over-powered gamer."

 

The extremely kind looking stranger extended her hand towards Mina, the latter trying to stop herself from looking even more ridiculous while she tried to put her act together, wiping her sweaty hands on her handkerchief, hidden on her Spiderman hoodie before shaking her hand.

 

It was awkward, to say the least.

 

"Nice to meet you, Mina. I'm sorry if I scared you."

 

"Oh no, I'm sorry for startling you; nice to meet you, Sana." She apologized softly, also mouthing an 'I'm sorry' to Dahyun when she took her hands of the wrinkled shirt she was holding on so tight. The pianist just shook her head and smiled, patting the counter stool so Mina could sit in front of the both of them while they munched on Tzuyu's cookies.

 

"It's okay, you don't need to apologize. The girls told me about you, I should have been more careful, it's your home after all." She offered, and Mina was pleasantly surprised about the posture the other girl was taking.

 

"Since both Chaeyoung and Dahyun spend more time here than my actual roommate, I'm actually kind of used to find them randomly appearing on my bedroom. I just didn't recognize you and I panicked."

 

"You looked ready to call the police." Dahyun commented, chuckling at Mina's blushing cheeks and neck.

 

"Come on, thieves aren't this pretty." Sana joked quickly to get the attention back, and Mina covered her mouth with her hand to cover her smile.

 

"I actually agree with you on that one, fine lady." Chaeyoung answered, entering the kitchen with a smug smile on her face, giving Mina a pat on her back, bro-fisting Dahyun and kissing Sana on the cheek. "What's up?"

 

"Sana almost killed Mina, I found Tzuyu's secret stash and I aced my performance today."

 

"So nothing new." The artist deadpanned, making Sana chuckle and leaving Mina with a serious desire to bury herself deep enough so no one could witness her embarrassment.

 

Dahyun shared the cookies with Mina and the illustrator knew it was not purely out of kindness, but the need to share the blame with more people when Tzuyu got home and asked where her cookies were. She still accepted the treats and ate while she paid attention to what the other girls were talking about, a relaxation method of hers when there was too much on her head to process properly.

 

Dahyun and Chaeyoung were used to the timid nature of the resident jumpy penguin, but Sana clearly didn't and Mina noticed when the newcomer kept stealing glances of her every time she could, like she was dying to ask something but didn't dare to do so. It made her feel slightly uncomfortable, not being sure why she was being scrutinized in that way, but she kept her manners and silently begged for one of her friends to notice the glances so they could explain Sana why she shouldn't look at her like that.

 

"And my teacher, Mrs. Im, all the gods and goddesses bless her, gave me some really awesome watercolors as a gift when she found out I wasn't going to stop painting." Chaeyoung said, but she barely paid attention, more focused on her own hands while trying to avoid Sana's curious eyes.

 

"Now I remember." Sana interrupted the conversation, putting her in the line of fire. "That's a Miles Morales hoodie right?"

 

Mina softly gasped then, putting one hand against her chest.

 

And Sana witnessed, for the first and not least time, the most adorable gummy smile she had ever saw in her life, closely followed by a squeaky sound when Chaeyoung put her arm around the timid girl.

 

"God, I'm going to protect you forever." Sana thoughtlessly let out, in an almost whisper.

 

"Yeah, she does that to people around her." Dahyun said amused, trying to get Sana's attention back so they could talk about music.

 

Let's just say that they spent the rest of the evening talking about comics, videogames and maybe ten or eleven minutes of actual music projects.

 

Sana surprisingly fit very well in their dynamics, as if she was supposed to be there all along.

 

**

 

Mina wasn't too keen on human connections, of course, there clearly were some exceptions, but she wasn't the kind of girl that opened her heart and mind for the world to see that easily; she did share hobbies with Sana and partners in crime like friendships with Dahyun and Chaeyoung; she did share something special with Tzuyu and only her bedroom walls and her bed knew about how intense that was.

 

Still, she found it so hard to really connect with them; she even asked herself if the connection she was seeking was actually normal, or if actually friendships were supposed to be like that. She wondered if she was asking for too much, if that something she was looking for was actually something her imagination made up just to satisfy her underlying loneliness; anyway, if there was someone who could feel alone even in the middle of a crowd, that person would definitively be Mina after all, and she somehow felt guilty about it.

 

Then, a stranger sent a letter, and Mina questioned everything she ever knew about human connections and relationships.

 

Mina was surprisingly really tactile with the ones she considered close to her; she'd never touch without explicit consent though, and that was the reason why she always reached out but never touched, why she never hugged but always returned the hugs her friends gave her. She loved to touch Tzuyu, in any kind of way; she liked to hold her hand when they were having a movie marathon, or run her fingers through her hair when they were sharing her bed, preferably naked if the situation allowed. Nevertheless, from all of those times, it was always the taller girl who looked at her directly into her eyes and said, "Just touch me, Mina."

 

Mina loved to touch, even when ironically, her mind didn't let her do so without someone directly asking for it.

 

But then there was this stranger behind all of those letters, so far away and so close at the same time; the one Mina couldn't touch at all but still made her feel like she could reach out and feel anyway.

 

That feeling got her drawing again, but for the first time in a while, she poured her whole heart on the way her wrist moved, in the way the colors blended together to give shape, light and darkness; she spent whole days devoting herself to the picture, and she felt like dying and being brought to life again every time a new image formed in her thoughts. Mina tried to imagine her, she really did, but all she had as a reference was her own feelings towards her.

 

Her own feelings, her own thoughts, her own idea of her.

 

Mina started talking, day and night, to the blank space in her own secret language until the picture, full of an intense color, answered back with the most powerful of stares.

 

Mina started crying when, after five days, she finished and realized what... Or rather _who_ she had drawn.

 

**

 

 

_Beloved very soon to be ex-neighbor,_

 

_How old is your heart, which carries so much wisdom? The depth of your feelings feels like the universe around me, eternal, bright and mysterious; you are the infinite on this equation. I had so many questions that needed answers but you seem to find reasons for me to not need them at all; you, Atlas, carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders and still finding reasons to smile._

 

_The pure light in the middle of the darkness, the lone star that puts all the others at shame; how many metaphors can you inspire? I suddenly feel like a poet when I shouldn’t because as you know, I never had a way with my words without confusing myself._

 

_But it's hard to avoid a muse, after all; that's something I have learned on my own thanks to my job and a small friend of mine who insisted that I tell you that yeah, you became my muse._

 

_I, after all, can imagine the price of being the brightest light and that's the darkest shadow you're able to cast; not to say I'm as bright or optimistic as you, because I certainly wasn't until people came along and taught me the real ways of the world, but there's balance in everything and that's the sadness you now are feeling in that beautiful heart of yours._

 

_But, let me for once teach you something you might remember:_

 

_Only sadness gives value to the happiness we can achieve, for every white there is a black and that’s one of the most important rules of the universe; for light to be light, there must be a shadow to shine on, right?_

 

_Don’t be afraid to feel your sadness, to stay in your loneliness for a while; because we are all humans, and you taught me all humans are feelings and all those feelings are necessary and valid. Let yourself cry over this letter, stain my ink with your tears as long as you remember to stand up and smile after._

 

_Go out and fly, you know how because you are the only human I know that can make miracles and fly, telling stories with every step and movement; you, more than anyone, are the story teller in this wonder you call life._

 

_Go and put on your shoes, or don’t do it at all and just dance, imagine I can look at you, imagine me smiling at you because it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in my whole life._

 

_I’m honored, for every step you take, for every word you write and every song you make your own._

 

_Don’t tie yourself to the floor when the place you belong to it’s with the stars._

 

_Sincerely and with the uttermost love,_

_The penguin dreamer._

 

**

 

"You still haven't told her, have you?" Dahyun asked out of the blue, getting the attention from the other girl in the room.

 

For every other person, it would have look that her words reached deaf ears because Mina didn't give any kind of noticeable reaction to the question, but the pianist knew better by the way her hand moved slower over the surface of her desk. Dahyun sighed and ran a hand through her own hair in hopes to get an idea about how to approach the subject without making Mina recoil and hide into herself again.

 

A month had passed since the young illustrator had left her apartment for anything except going to the rooftop, and the only times she left in the middle of the night, no one was there to see her.

 

Of course, Tzuyu didn't even realize, and that was what had Dahyun so worried.

 

Mina never lied to her roommate before, but since she showed them the notebook on the rooftop, Tzuyu wasn't aware of the fact that the older girl wasn't going out for her daily walks anymore.

 

Sure, she excused herself in the fact that she actually got what she wanted after presenting her last project, got called back by the company she dreamed of and she had to work harder from home; of course, her mood had increased a lot as the days went by and for _Christ sake_ , she even started _inviting Sana over_ more often, which was a miracle on its own considering her introverted personality.

 

But every time someone else started talking about her little secret and Tzuyu knowing about it, suddenly Mina transformed into something Dahyun was genuinely scared of.

 

She looked like a half part of her was missing, as if someone was taking away a piece of her heart without any sedatives.

 

And Mina must have noticed, because every time the question was asked, she avoided to look into the inquirer's eyes.

 

"I will."

 

"You must, or that notebook on the rooftop won't be the only thing you lose, Mina."

 

"I'm just trying..."

 

"Trying what?"

 

"To make sense of it." Mina answered, looking in Dahyun's direction but not bravely enough to look into her eyes. "At least, in my heart it makes sense, but it's like she... It's like the notebook isn't for me to share. It's like a string pulling in my heart every time I think someone might take it from me."

 

"Give Tzuyu at least a bit of credit, Mina. Would she ever do anything that causes you any harm?" Dahyun sighed, sitting close to Mina. "You said it yourself, she'll believe."

 

"She will force herself to believe, and she will hurt when she does."

 

"We're all hurt at some point, Mina." Dahyun stated, and Mina was finally able to look into her eyes. "It feels like you're disconnecting yourself from Tzuyu and every day it's worse."

 

"What do I do?" The illustrator's eyes starting welling up. "How can I make it better?"

 

"I'd be lying if I said I know how to make it feel better for you, for now, the only thing my heart is telling me is that you should be honest with her. She will still love you no matter what."

 

"I think that's the problem, Dubu." Mina finally said, softly as she could. "She loves me, and I..."

 

She didn't even need to finish that sentence, one look into the younger girl's eyes and the pianist understood. She sighed again, and Mina started fidgeting.

 

"Do you think my feelings are wrong?"

 

"No, feelings are never wrong... It's just that we aren't talking about the big elephant in the room here. What if..." She paused, standing up from the chair and pacing around the room; finally and after biting her lip in concentration, Dahyun decided to change the subject. "I know what I saw in that rooftop, I know and it blew my fucking mind but... What if the person who is sending you those letters isn't who or what you think they are?"

 

"What do you mean?" Mina cautiously asked, like daring Dahyun to say _she_ wasn't real; she _felt her_ real and that definitively must've meant something.

 

"Chaeyoung and I, we've been investigating, because shit, it's not every day you see something like that. We found out about a lot of things and we even made our own theories; but then I read something and I can barely remember who wrote it, but it said: 'what if there was a place, where everything is the same; a place where every building is the same, every person is the same... But the only thing that isn't there, it's you.' "

 

Mina frowned, and made motions with her hands for her to go on.

 

"Chaeyoung tried to explain to me about time and its rules, and it made sense considering the letters come from 2013, the warm hole thing and everything. Okay, let's think for a second, let's just pretend that you're talking to someone from the past; she knows you live here in 2017, right? Then... Why hasn't she come looking for you then? I mean, it already _happened_ for her. Why hasn't she looked for you, Mina?"

 

The illustrator turned towards her desk, swallowing hard as her head started to hurt.

 

"Then I thought that maybe it was some kind of ghost, a trace of energy lingering on that notebook, just like Harry Potter, but we quickly disregarded it because then the notebook would have worked in any other place, not just there."

 

"You tried to speak to her? Without me knowing?" Mina asked in an unexpectedly harsh way, and Dahyun frowned, not intimidated in the slightest by the look the illustrator was sending her way.

 

"We needed to know, miss possessive. Now get your head out of your butt and listen to me, help me think because now, in this moment, the only people that believes what it's happening here is you, Chaeyoung and Me. Now, we have two theories: warm hole and ghost, and none of them seems to be the right one but they don't look entirely wrong either; she exists and you exist, but what if you exist at the same time, but in two completely different places?"

 

**

 

_Dear soon-to-be ex-neighbor,_

 

_We are here, you were right._

 

_We are here, on this moment, you there and I here at the present but differently at the same time; I've been thinking about it for the longest hours of my life and I came to the conclusion that, indeed, we are. Right here, right now, we live at the longest distance ever known: time._

 

_It doesn't really make sense when I write it, but I hope you get the feeling when you read it because is a conclusion that took me a really long time to finally figure out, and maybe that's what you meant when you told me not to worry about the why and instead worry about the what. And of course, there's a lot in between we have to choose to ignore in order to preserve both of our minds intact, but the essential things are right here for us to know and rejoice in._

 

_I want you to understand that I'm not, by any means, trying to shut you out; we have a very special knowledge -it sounds selfish to call it power- on our hands and probably you already noticed, but we really need to be careful about what we're dealing with._

 

_That's why this letter looks more like a shopping list than an actual letter._

 

_I play lots of games, and you might understand that for me, a list of rules is essential in order to not mess up massively. So I decided to make a list of rules of sorts, that way we won't irreversibly mess with time and its impossible laws._

 

_Please bear with me and don't laugh._

 

"Rule number one." Chaeyoung started counting out loud, pacing around Mina's room while Dahyun and Sana -who somehow got the information about the notebook incident from Dahyun- attentively listened. "Not talking about specific dates, keep facts as ambiguous as possible."

 

"That way, you won't change nothing important and won't start world war three." Sana added, and the three other girls stared at her. "What?"

 

_Dear penguin dreamer,_

 

_I have also a couple of suggestions, so we won't mess up massively,_

 

"Rule number four," Momo repeated to herself while moving to the rhythm of the music. "We'll only know our first names, that way we won't alter anything important in each other’s lives."

 

 _Rule number two: Don't talk about widely known events._ Mina wrote after getting the approval of her friends.

 

 _Rule number five-_ Momo stopped writing then, strongly grasping the pen on her hand.

 

 _Rule number three- Don't tell anyone else about our notebook, that way we reduce the risks._ Mina bit her lip then, looking up at her friends who nodded in complicity, silently promising not to tell unless directly told to do so.

 

 _Rule number five-_ Mina started writing, sighing at the feeling of Chaeyoung's hand on her shoulder.

 

 _Rule number five-_ Momo stared at the paper on her hand, and then around her in the practice room of the dance company.

 

_Rule number five: It's **absolutely and completely forbidden** to try to find each other without the other knowing._

 

_**_

 

"Auntie Momo, guess who came to see you." A deep voice resounded on the already empty practice room, alerting Momo of the other presence in the place.

 

She immediately smiled widely when she recognized the kind eyes and the bad groomed beard; she stood up from the floor as fast as her body let her in order to walk towards him, arms wide open to hug him as tight as she could and eyes shining brightly, threatening to start welling up in pure emotion.

 

"You came." She blurted out, laughing in pure joy as the man held her in the warmest hug he could possibly provide considering the fact that he was holding his little daughter on his other arm. Momo could only smile when she recognized the faint smell of cinnamon on his clothes, one of the smells she grew attached to since she was very young.

 

"Of course we did, your niece and I had to do it since it's a matter of time before you become all famous and forget us normal people." He joked, poking at his daughter's chubby cheek. "Isn't it, Somi?"

 

"Oh my dear god, Somi, you're so big." She cooed, holding out her arms to the little girl, who immediately reached out to be held by the dancer and focused her whole attention con Momo's braids. "Soon you'll be as tall as the bear you have as a father."

 

"Christ, please no, I've been struggling too much since she started reaching the door knobs, I'm always scared she'll run away or get into the cabinets without me noticing."

 

They both chuckled when the little girl squealed in agreement, only diverting her attention from Momo's hair when she asked her about confirmation; after a couple minutes, the dancer let the girl get down from her arms to pace around the practice room, her small frame hopping around in order to understand the space around her. Momo looked at the man then, and hugged him from the side, sharing a silent moment between them, or trying to do so considering how much Somi liked to point at things and giggle around.

 

"How are things going?" She asked, looking up at him.

 

"I won't lie to you; things have been hard since it's only the both of us at home." He sighed, giving Momo a pat on the shoulder. "But things tend to get better if you have a positive view on them, you taught me so. And my situation isn't the main issue here... I mean, look at you, all professional and classy on shiny practice rooms; I'm so proud I pushed you into dancing classes when we were young."

 

And Momo just laughed, because Yongguk was that kind of guy, the kind of men that felt accomplished by only putting a smile on someone's face, no matter how much it took; that was also a part of what made him such a good father to the little Somi.

 

"The flight must've been awful; you and Somi should get some rest."

 

An unusual silence followed, and the dancer felt how the man's arm left her body and his hands got lost on his jeans pockets.

 

"No, we... We actually arrived a week ago." Yongguk answered, scratching his neck awkwardly.

 

Momo just frowned, letting Somi push buttons on the music equipment on the practice room.

 

"I might be in serious need of help right now, Momo, and I only have you and Nayeon."

 

**

 

"You look like someone kicked your shin." The familiar voice noted, the smile denying her words from any negative intention.

 

"And you look as wonderful as always, Miss Jihyo." Mark replied, smiling widely at the regular client.

 

"Look at you, all flirty with the costumers, hyung." Tzuyu appeared from the back, flashing Jihyo a small smile and giving her boss a shove so she could get around the counter and grab her coat.

 

"Wait, aren't you getting her a drink, her white mocha?" Mark asked, confused as he saw how Tzuyu grabbed her stuff and made her way towards the exit.

 

"That's my cue, good bye Mark-ssi, have a nice evening." Jihyo smiled.

 

Mark gasped silently in disbelief when Tzuyu turned around and opened the door for Jihyo to get out first, their eyes never leaving each other as the taller girl shot her a charming smile; he put her hand against his chest when his employee looked back at him, and Mark pretended he was shot to the heart. She just shook her head, smiling, and left the cafe with the older woman close beside her.

 

"You're out late today." Jihyo told her, nudging her with her elbow. "Extra hours?"

 

"Kind of." Tzuyu replied, calmly walking beside the older woman. "How was work today?"

 

"Interesting, I got good news about an artist so there's that. It's going to be a really interesting year for me."

 

"Sounds mysterious and big, does it mean that you'll be busier?"

 

"I might, why? will you miss me?" Jihyo jokingly said, looking at Tzuyu with such warm and inviting eyes, she swore she could see all the stars reflected on them.

 

"Yeah, I will." Tzuyu firmly answered, making the older woman stop on her tracks and groan when she heard the younger girl chuckling at her reddened cheeks. "What? Did I make your heart flutter by being simply honest?"

 

"You're really something else, Tzuyu."

 

The older woman pushed her softly using her shoulder, and instead of moving away, the taller girl used the motion to put one of her arms around Jihyo's body, tugging her closer as they walked.

 

"It's cold." She simply explained, and Jihyo just nodded, keeping the smiles to herself as she let herself be invaded by Tzuyu's perfume.

 

They talked, a lot, back in the cafe. Tzuyu learnt a lot of things about the older woman, noticing the little things, like how she bit on her pen every time she drank her coffee inside the building and inspiration hit her suddenly; she noticed how there was always music around her, whether coming from her earphones or her humming while she wrote on the notepad she always carried on her coat pocket. Usually the young barista used that time to clean the counters as an excuse to keep up with her conversation, just to be around her a couple minutes more.

 

Jihyo turned out to be even more talented than she expected.

 

Tzuyu let herself be amazed by her, and little by little, the producer took over her thoughts and music itself reminded her of Jihyo.

 

It took them a whole five days to finally gather up the courage to meet outside their comfort zone and step out from the cafe, and to the moment, Tzuyu wasn't complaining at all.

 

"You're so different when you're off work." She chuckled.

 

"Bad different?"

 

"Definitively good different, you're bolder." Jihyo answered nodding towards the arm around her body.

 

"As I said, It's cold." She shrugged.

 

**

 

"Talk to me about Tzuyu." Jihyo asked, going through the glass door into the building, guiding Tzuyu into her studio after promising a lift to her own when they were done with some things the older woman wanted to show her.

 

"You already know a lot about me."

 

"I know a lot of things about barista Tzuyu, not so much about the real Tzuyu."

 

She tugged on her jacket sleeve while they took the elevator to the very top floor, the younger of them trying to hide her amazement when the elevator doors opened to reveal the high class studio, walls covered in awards and golden discs; she felt even more impressed when she recognized some of the celebrities on the photos, standing next to Jihyo.

 

Tzuyu took her time to take it all in, genuinely curious about the place where the woman spent all her days before and after her daily coffees; she tried to picture that kind and bright woman working there, letting her mind work marvelously while music escaped from her fingers to the equipment. She turned to look at her and she smiled brightly, almost unusually excited when Jihyo walked to a certain spot and started turning on some of the complicated looking panels.

 

"I wanted you to listen something I've been working on." She explained as she turned on the laptop on her desk and connected it to the panels. "Maybe after that you'll tell me more about yourself."

 

The younger girl just kept her smile and sat on the couch, looking at Jihyo while she started pressing buttons.

 

"You're really confident about your music, aren't you?"

 

"Well, I make a living off it, don't I?"

 

When the music started playing, it was almost automatic; Tzuyu's head started bobbing to the beat and her smirk turned into a full smile when Jihyo turned around to look at her and sat on her desk chair. Surprise came along the same exact moment when the older woman started to sing with the sweetest voice she had ever heard, rendering her speechless as her brain processed the lyrics and the new knowledge about the woman.

 

To say Tzuyu was fascinated with her was an understatement, Jihyo was indeed a box of surprises.

 

She found herself leaning forward, like if the movement could help her to listen better; she found herself in conflict then, not quite sure if she should close her eyes or not, so she could focus on the music and the voice instead of the ethereal vision she was having at the moment, with the woman smiling as she cleanly delivered the song without a care.

 

And she did try hard to not associate the lyrics with their current situation, where they were finding out the real nature of the relationship they were building every passing day.

 

But it was so hard when that woman was looking directly at her while singing "Now I don't see you like I used to..." because, indeed, something had shifted between them when they started hanging out outside work hours and she got to see an entirely different side of her, the passionate, kind, wise and talented Jihyo.

 

She resembled her own idea of wonder.

 

By the time the song ended, Tzuyu had to let out a shaky breath she didn't even know she was holding and she chuckled right after, amused by the sudden shyness of the other woman, who suddenly turned around on her chair to press things again on her laptop.

 

"You're wonderful, Jihyo." She blurted out and the older woman blushed intensely as she closed the laptop.

 

"I assume you liked it?"

 

"Yes, in case it didn't was clear enough, I loved it." Tzuyu made a pause to pull herself together because, indeed, Jihyo's smile was disarming. "I didn't know you were also a singer."

 

"You didn't ask." She simply answered, and got up from her chair only to sit beside Tzuyu and look at her expectantly. "And now that we're on that, will you tell me what got you so stressed out these days?"

 

"You noticed." Tzuyu raised one of her eyebrows, the smile somehow not dissapearing even when she was intrigued. She didn't even try to deny the fact that she was indeed behaving differently the last week. "It's just... There's a lot going on back at home, and for the first time I don't really know how to deal with it."

 

"Want to talk about it? I could just listen if you want me to."

 

Tzuyu pondered her options and awkwardly scratched her neck, avoiding Jihyo's look because talking about Mina, the same girl she has been sleeping with the last year, to the woman in front of her seemed weirdly inappropriate.

 

"It's just that I think my best friend is slowly drifting away from me."

 

"Did you two fight or something?"

 

"No, we haven't... Well, we almost did at some point, but there's only this uneasiness on my chest, that makes me feel like she's hiding something from me."

 

Jihyo just sat there in silence, looking at her warmly and reaching out for her hand to hold on.

 

"I just want her to trust me and just reach out and talk to me about what's bothering her."

 

"Sounds like you have a problem with time." The older woman simply stated.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"You're rushing into conclusions... Just give her time, she's your best friend so she'll eventually find the way to tell you what's bothering her. Don't stress yourself over that, Tzuyu, I've been there, trust me. At the end, it's all about time and patience."

 

"Time and patience..." Tzuyu repeated, sighing and shifting closer to Jihyo in order to rest her head on her shoulder. "Easier said than done."

 

**

 

Cigarette smoke wasn't a common thing to be smelt on the building, sure, alcohol and other things were obviously present in every party, but it wasn't usual to find any of the kids there smoking out of those particular situations; that specific smell got Jihyo frowning when she knocked on the apartment 5E, searching for Nayeon to hang out and maybe see a movie.

 

Her frown deepened when Nayeon herself opened the door and it seemed like she was alone on the apartment, wearing only an over-sized and paint stained shirt and shorts, a lit cigarette hanging from her dry lips.

 

"I thought you quit." Was the first thing she said when the older girl let her in.

 

"Might as well start again properly, I'm tired to quit on stuff." She shot back, walking back to her bedroom with Jihyo following close behind her.

 

"So now you're in a full artist mood? Paint stained clothes, brooding and vices included?"

 

Nayeon chuckled bitterly and patted the space beside her on the bed, blowing another smoke cloud directed towards the open window; the young producer sat beside her and looked at her profile, not quite voicing out her worries yet because of the slight fear she had of setting Nayeon off in the middle of her brooding, she knew her well enough to wait a couple minutes if it was necessary.

 

She put her hand, palm up, on Nayeon's lap for her to take, in silent companionship when she finished her cigarette and lit another one almost immediately.

 

"We broke up with Momo, Jeongyeon and I, I mean." She breathed out.

 

"I thought it was a mutual agreement."

 

"It was... At least I like to think it was." She exhaled again, letting the ashes fall onto her small ashtray before returning the cigarette to its place on her lips. "It was the healthiest thing to do, but that's not the problem though. Momo has been behaving weirdly these days, and it was way before she got the spot on the dance company."

 

"Is Momo who we're talking about here so that term it's kind of ambiguous, what do you mean by "behaving weirdly"?"

 

Nayeon swallowed hard then, and picked up a couple sheets of paper that was hiding under her leg; she stared at the letter for a couple seconds before handling it to Jihyo for her to read. The young producer asked her with a single look if she could really read the words that lied there, and the artist just shrugged, resigned while smoking like it was her last day.

 

"Mrs Kang found these while cleaning the rooftop; she gave it to me because she had seen Momo reading them before and thought she had lost them."

 

Jihyo's expression slowly morphed from curious to seriously concerned when she read the words, feeling uncomfortable while doing so, like she wasn't supposed to witness what the letter was describing; she glanced to Nayeon and back to the letter a couple times, trying to make sure that she wasn't trying to play a joke on her. Then she saw tears welling up on Nayeon's eyes and she folded the letter when she finished reading, her heart racing when she thought about the implications that came along with the knowledge she had just acquired.

 

"This is-"

 

"Beautiful, I know." Nayeon half chuckled, half sobbed.

 

Jihyo immediately shifted from her position, practically dragging Nayeon onto her lap and holding her close, delicately taking the cigarette from her trembling fingers and turning it off.

 

"Momo wouldn't cheat on you guys, she has always been devoted to you, for Christ sake, you two grew up together." Jihyo tried to reason with her, whispering onto her hair while she tried to hold her together.

 

"That's exactly the reason why, I know her since since so long... She might not have cheated on us, but she fell in love, Jihyo, and that's unavoidable."

 

Jihyo's thumbs stopped Nayeon's tears for a couple instants, but the heartbreak was almost palpable when the usually overly confident girl started crying softly against her chest.

 

"I know her, Jihyo... I'm not even feeling betrayed, I'm just, I'm just so scared." She sobbed, holding the letters. "This, this is what she really dreams of. She's capable of breaking her promise in order to get this, and I know that eventually this will destroy her."

 

The younger producer only listened then, because that was what she needed, and she would provide.

 

On the inside, she just got as scared as Nayeon.

 

Would she? Really?

 

**

 

"Mina!"

 

The illustrator jumped from her bed when she heard the loud voice echoing through the apartment, she recognized Tzuyu's voice, but a long time has passed since the last time she heard her like that.

 

She was drunk.

 

"Mina! I need to talk to you, baby, It's kind of important." She shouted, presumably from the kitchen.

 

The door of her bedroom opened slowly, revealing both Dahyun and Chaeyoung small frames, who entered the room and stood next to her desk while she got up. The three of them shared concerned looks when Tzuyu raised her voice again, apparently getting impatient about opening a peanut butter jar and letting out a series of curses in the process.

 

"Okay, so... Who wants to throw her into the shower? I volunteer for hangover duties." Dahyun tried to joke, rubbing her arm while Chaeyoung held Mina's hand.

 

"What the fuck is going on with her?" Chaeyoung voiced out their collective thoughts.

 

"I'll go and talk to her; she probably had a bad time with one of her auditions." Mina explained, retrieving her hoodie from her desk chair before putting it on. "Don't worry though; she's the loud hungry kind of drunk."

 

Her two friends followed her when she quietly left the bedroom and walked towards the kitchen, finding Tzuyu stumbling around the kitchen, a spoon on her mouth and messed up makeup on her face; she spared a single glance towards their neighbors and focuses her whole attention when Mina made herself visible, immediately putting the jar she was holding on the counter.

 

Only then the three of them noticed the tears on her face, Dahyun and Chaeyoung only did the most sensible thing and decided to go back into Mina's room after making sure they would be both okay with them leaving.

 

"You fucking marvelous person." She chuckled, letting the spoon fall from her lips to the counter. "Barely talks but still manages to break people's hearts like it's nothing, and still I can't blame you... Because you don't mean to, do you?"

 

"What happened, Tzuyu?" Mina asked softly, reaching out to take the coat from Tzuyu's shoulders.

 

"A whole lot of shit."

 

"That doesn't really help, Tzu."

 

The taller girl just hummed, turning around to trap Mina between her arms and the kitchen counter in a quite sudden motion. The illustrator looked up at her and held onto her forearms, to remind her of their position; Tzuyu wasn't a violent person by nature, but she was as unpredictable as the ocean and it's waves, so she had to keep a certain attention towards her reactions and body language.

 

"Yeah, I know... And I'm sorry, but that's all you get." She breathed out, leaning towards Mina's face and invading her with the smell of alcohol and coffee.

 

"Talk to me, so I can take you to the shower after." She tried to reason when Tzuyu started to kiss her cheek. "God, you stink."

 

"Can we talk over sex? We're good at that. Actually, that's the only thing that we're good at lately." Mina froze when she heard her, and lightly pushed Tzuyu by the shoulders, frowning when she laughed like she knew all her secrets, not that it would have surprised her after all. "Yeah, that's it... You know exactly what I'm talking about. Now babe, spill the beans, or I swear on Katharine Hepburn that-... That things will happen."

 

"Tzuyu, you're drunk."

 

"Drunk but not stupid... I'll remember everything tomorrow so don't even try."

 

"Tzu-"

 

"Mina, for Christ sake, stop it." Tzuyu raised her voice, and Mina found herself surprised at the sudden trails of tears running down her roommate's cheeks. "You'll make me beg you, that's what you want? I just want you to tell me what the fuck I'm I doing wrong, why won't you talk to me anymore?"

 

"It's hard to explain..."

 

"Fucking try me." She spat out, letting Mina go from her grasp and frustratingly running her hands through her hair. "This has to do with those letters of yours, isn't it?"

 

A chill ran down Mina's back when Tzuyu suddenly looked considerably more sober.

 

And she nodded.

 

Eventually, every piece of information, every sentence and every question left Mina's lips for Tzuyu to hear and to the other girls to confirm a little bit later. They all sat on the kitchen floor and witnessed every change in the expression of the barista, Mina kept her hands to herself every time Tzuyu's started shaking out of pure frustration; she knew she was holding it all inside, one more time, but she couldn't bring herself to point it out.

 

It was like witnessing all the stages of grief and loss in the lapse of twenty minutes.

 

And it got even crazier when they pulled out the letters and offered her to prove it all to her in the rooftop.

 

That was the precise moment when Tzuyu got up and grabbed her peanut butter jar.

 

"I'm not a joke, Mina, please don't lie and try to make me look like one."

 

Then, another unexpected thing happened, like a lot of other things in the Dreamer's Den.

 

Mina also got up, and physically stopped Tzuyu, pushing her against the wall. At the same time, both Chaeyoung and Dahyun got up and separated them when the taller girl took a long step forward with the intention of pushing her too.

 

"Say it again." She spat out, punching Tzuyu's shoulder when she let out a breathy laugh and tried to look to the side. "I dare you to look me in the eyes and say I'm lying to you."

 

And she did, she directly looked into Mina's tearful eyes.

 

And unsurprisingly, she found out all the answers she was looking for.

 

“What’s her name?” She found herself asking.

 

“I don’t know.” Mina replied.

 

**

 

A weight was lifted from her delicate shoulders when Tzuyu looked at her the next morning, promising to bring answers if she agreed to be strong enough to hear them; even if the words carried themselves over the fear of the unknown and a subtle warning about the dangers of getting herself involved with time and its merciless plays in the chess board she liked to call life, Mina nodded while looking directly into the dark and warm gaze that had meant home for her for a what it felt like forever.

 

The younger girl seemed to see it on her eyes, the new born strength that built an empire around Mina's heart and filled her legs with diamonds, solid enough to let her stand on her own feet and face the sun with her both eyes open, even when that sole action could harm her severely.

 

The wind blew on her hair as if it was giving her advice, eyelids barely open as she tried to concentrate and listen; somehow and in between all the chaos, she was able to find a substitute for peace. Mina hugged herself in a useless attempt to replicate the contact she craved for, feeling like a child eager to get the treat they were longtime promised.

 

In the middle of the cold weather that surrounded her, Mina wondered how the dancer's arms would feel around her, keeping her pieces together; her heartbeat increased its pace while she imagined how her skin would feel against hers, her lips branding her temples with so much wisdom and love whispered against her head she could melt only by imagining it.

 

How she craved for a simple smile, something as simple as a look, a voice she could remember and a touch she could save in the little pocket she liked to call heart. Would her voice be as silky and warm as her words on paper? Would she ever get to hear a goodnight as a lullaby every night? Was she being that selfish for wishing it was her and no one else, even when it was impossible?

 

"What have you done to me, stranger?"

 

When the night came along, it found Mina waiting for the stars to appear so she could make a simple wish.

 

She just wished to take her hand and dance one song with her, even if her feet were clumsy, even if she knew very little about music, but it was because she loved it; Mina thought it was easy to love everything when the dancer showed her how to, in so little time and with so much intensity, the stranger had taught Mina how to see everything with new eyes, opening her heart without fear for the world to take and cherish.

 

And Mina loved her for that.

 

Mina loved her, her, the one who she couldn't see, the one she couldn't touch and it seemed like the craziest plot for a story she ever knew about.

 

**

 

_Dear Mina,_

 

_How wonderful would that be, to love you fully, to hold your hand and getting myself lost on its velvety warmth. I'm weak, my dear, and I forget I cannot see you nor touch you because fate decided to give us the greatest of tests; you're always in my dreams though, lingering like a long lost fate, bringing a new kind of feeling I didn't know I was capable to keep inside me._

 

_But I'm drowning, because we're both humans, and I need to touch you, to feel you and taste you, to let my senses be filled by you; you already filled my thoughts and my heart, and ironically it's a matter of time before you take over everything else, if you didn't do so already, that is._

 

_I slept hugging your letter like a little child last night, relinquishing on the fact that you, at some point, touched that paper and wrote on those lines, and somehow it feels like I'm holding you, a little piece of your soul waiting for me in the letter you sent me. Sometimes I wonder how much of you belongs to me, and how much of me already belongs to you._

 

_Am I weak? Did all my defenses fail leaving me bare for you to take? Or am I strong? So strong that I have the power to deliver myself willingly without thinking about the fatality the first great love it's already sending my way?_

 

_Something clicked inside of me the first time I read the words 'I love you' at the end of your letter, like I was given the confidence I lacked to finally believe that we're just meant to be; if I'm to be honest, I've loved you from the first letter, from the very first word I decided to put in that paper, the first thought that brought me to the rooftop to write._

 

_I can't promise you a tomorrow I know nothing about._

 

_But all the gods help me, I promise you all my todays._

 

_With love,_

_Momo._

 

**

 

It hadn't been that hard to find the previous owner's address, Tzuyu had the luck on her side given the fact that not so many people shared the old lady's name. And after _persuading_ Mark to let her go earlier that day, she rode the bus to the other side of the city with her mind solely focused on one thing.

 

She had to get some answers that explained Mina's behavior.

 

It was too hard for her to get used to at the beginning, how Mina started showing other side of herself day after day and how the rooftop had something to do with it; the young barista knew her like nobody, and it was confusing to think that some letters had achieved something in a month or so, something that she hadn't in more than a year.

 

It wasn't jealousy, nor envy.

 

It was fear, because she was drifting away in every sense, and all that she was, was changing; Tzuyu feared Mina losing herself while trying to find someone else.

 

So she was seeking the truth, even though she profusely hated the idea of breaking her best friend's heart; she needed to show Mina the truth so she could stop hurting herself with such fantasies. Tzuyu just couldn't bring herself to believe what the older girl had just dropped on her, irrationality finally taking over the person she cared the most about; for a minute, it actually made sense as an explanation for her sudden change, but the more she talked and tried to explain, Tzuyu got even more lost.

 

She picked on her sweater as she looked at the address written on her phone, looking around to find the correct streets and references; glad about her attire choice, considering the merciless cold of that particular region, she walked through streets and empty patches of unused terrain until she found the place she was looking for. Not quite what she was expecting from a person who used to own entire buildings, the one story house looked quite humble and welcoming.

 

She soon found herself knocking at the wooden door, without even thinking about proper questions to ask, or how to ask them. What would she ask, anyway? How to explain her need to know about the residents without having an exact relation with them?

 

Finally, she lost her opportunity to bail when the door creaked softly and opened, revealing a young men staring at her curiously.

 

"Good evening, how can I help you?" He smiled immediately, his sharp features quickly making themselves soft; he was a handsome man.

 

"Good evening, I don't know if I got the right address; I'm looking for Mrs Kang, she used to own a building on the other side of the city-"

 

"The Dreamer's Den, isn't it?" He finished for her, his smile suddenly becoming softer, before he ended up opening the door for her. "Come in, my grandmother is on the living room, would you like to join us and have a cup of tea? It's too cold outside for a conversation of this nature."

 

Tzuyu, a little bit taken aback by the young man's kindness -not a common trait in the city, if she were to share her opinion-, just nodded dumbly before entering the house, silently pleased by change of temperature. The man closed the door and guided her through the hallway.

 

The photos on the walls immediately called her attention, many unknown faces smiling at the camera in the front of the building where they lived, different clothing and styling, every frame told different stories and Tzuyu soon felt like she was walking into a museum.

 

"You're not the first one to come here." He said as he had just read her mind. "Those are the pictures of every generation until my brother was given the spot as the tenant on the building and he just stopped taking the pictures."

 

"They look happy." She commented, soon realizing that she was looking for familiar faces she actually didn't know.

 

"Of course, they were chasing their dreams." He warmly answered, signaling Tzuyu to go into the living room, where an old woman sat on an expensive looking chair, holding a cup of tea against her lips. "Grandma, there's a young lady here looking for you."

 

Tzuyu immediately bowed when the woman made eye contact with her; her hair, silver as the moon in the clearest nights, told the young barista about experience and wisdom beyond her years; her face, wrinkled, still kept some traces of the aged beauty, faded thanks to the merciless years on her bones. If someone were to ask Tzuyu about her first impression, she would have easily described the woman as a brilliant soul with the smallest tints of nostalgia on her eyes.

 

"Well, hello young lady." She greeted kindly.

 

"Good evening, Mrs Kang; I'm Zhou Tzuyu, I came looking for you with some questions."

 

"Why do these kids insist on calling me like that? There's no harm in calling me Grandma, dear. Sangmin, be a sweetheart and give young Tzuyu here a cup of tea, she looks like she has some important things to talk about." She called her grandson, who immediately complied; she pointed at the couch next to her chair, signaling Tzuyu to sit there. "So, tell me, what can this old woman do for you, dear?"

 

Tzuyu straightened her back while sitting, trying to find a proper way to approach the subject without coming out as weird in front of the woman who probably had all the information she needed.

 

"Well... Grandma, I'm living on the Dreamer's Den with some friends of mine, we've been there for a year or so." She explained. "We were just curious about the people that lived there before us."

 

"If there's people so curious about the past at such a young age, it doesn't surprise me they come from the Den." Sangmin came back from where, she assumed, the kitchen was, carrying a cup of steamy tea for Tzuyu, who gracefully accepted it even when a confused expression kept decorating her face.

 

"Have so many people really come looking for you, Grandma? Why is that?"

 

"The building it's special, dear, you may have noticed; a lot of young men and woman have lived there, all of them reaching out for their dreams, no matter how impossible they might seem for the rest of the people. Naive kids, the rest would call them, but we know it isn't like that; the most precious minds have blossomed at that place, and they all leave something behind for the next ones to discover, to find solace in. That's why there's always one of you looking for answers; curiosity is what makes us humans after all." She slowly sipped from her tea, as if she was keeping a secret Tzuyu should already have figured out. "But more than curiosity, concern is what brings you here, am I right?"

 

Tzuyu just nodded, looking at the tea before meeting the woman’s warm and dark eyes.

 

"My best friend might have found one of those... Things someone left behind." She honestly said, and Sangmin sat across her in another sofa, giving her a curious look. "And she's changing because of it."

 

"Is the change bad, Tzuyu?" She asked, and Tzuyu frowned.

 

"It's consuming her, that's how it feels." She answered, and Grandma Kang hummed, like pondering the whole situation; she shared a look with his grandson and he nodded softly.

 

"When did you start living on the Den, Tzuyu-ssi?" He asked politely

 

"My best friend and I started living there on 2016, we're roommates."

 

"And what changed so suddenly after one year?" She asked, leaving the cup on the little table beside her chair.

 

"She found this... letters, It will sound like the craziest thing you ever heard if I tried to explain it to the both of you, but I just need you to tell me about the people that lived there by the end of 2013 or 2014 so I can get the idea out of her mind."

 

"Wait. _Letters_ from 2013?" Sangmin perked up, looking at his grandmother who suddenly looked very somber.

 

"Oh sweetie..." Grandma Kang said, in the most soft of the voices.

 

The instinct told Tzuyu she had made the wrong question, or maybe, she was about to find out something the might not like at all. The latter ended up being the most probable one when Sangmin got up and walked towards her grandmother and kissed her on the forehead and walking past in order to retrieve something from the shelf behind her.

 

"What happened then?" She cautiously asked.

 

"The reason why I left the building on my other grandson's hands, Tzuyu." She vaguely replied with a heartbreaking tone, waiting for Sangmin, who got a folder and extended it towards Tzuyu after sitting beside her.

 

"You might have noticed how close Grandma is to all the ones who lived in the Den, right?" He explained in a whisper as Tzuyu opened the folder and found a burned and damaged picture alongside several newspaper clippings, a shiver running down her back. "An accident happened by the beginning of 2014, a fire; started too quickly and by the time the help came, there wasn't much they were able to do."

 

"Did..." She didn't found the courage to end the question before Sangmin finished it for her.

 

"Three of them, three of them didn't make it."

 

"The brightest stars at the Dreamer's Den." She said in a broken voice, and Tzuyu felt a knot forming on her throat, while looking at the photo, shivering at the thought of holding the last memories of three young kids who were not there anymore, just a bare whisper from the past. "I still remember them, those trouble makers, always running everywhere, laughing and filming everything. They always got in trouble with the neighbors on the other buildings, the music too loud on the rooftop because they liked to dance up there."

 

Tzuyu stopped staring at the photo and looked at her.

 

"Dance." She repeated.

 

It had to be the sickest joke Tzuyu ever heard about, she suddenly felt nauseous.

 

 _It had to be a joke_.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to hear theories, especially from those ones who are very observant and noticed my mischievous behavior while writing this lol.


	5. Memento Mori

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An interlude.

The rain was falling, and the pavement seemed to get louder at every drop, or so it perceived her already overwhelmed brain as she let herself get soaked, walking to the bus stop without a real rush; she was going back home either way. Still, a groan could be easily heard when she realized that her books were probably as drenched as she was, and her father would probably throw a fit over it.

 

It didn't take too much for her to be distracted though, maybe the sharp pain she endured at every step had something to do with it; the skin of her knees, seriously damaged, tensed at every movement she did in order to get under the shade of the bus stop.

 

When she finally got there and sat to check on her legs, she realized how bad she had been hurt this particular day -She could blame it on her clumsiness, maybe her mother would believe- when she looked at the blood-stained handkerchief tied around her leg and the exposed, bleeding injuries on the other one.

 

She threw her head back in order to let out a tired sigh.

 

And when she looked in front of her, she saw the woman checking on her wrist watch; for a moment, she just sat there, looking at the woman like a child would with a new animal to discover in the local zoo, trying to take in everything she was just by her physical appearance. She started playing the guessing game then, her messy bun and the classy clothes contradicting each other; she guessed she was a business woman, after all, these women had so much money that looking luxurious wasn't a real priority for them like it was for the rest of the world.

 

What really threw her off though, were her shoes and the red umbrella.

 

That's when she decided the woman was a mystery she could try to decipher to keep her mind occupied while she waited for her bus.

 

The first big question was: Why did she use those kinds of high heels on a rainy day? Was she trying to prove a point to one of her friends, maybe a bet whether she got sick or not? Maybe she was a model who got up too late because of a bad hangover after a wild party?

 

She stared at the goddamn shoes for at least five minutes until she decided to move on.

 

But instead of finding the mysterious profile of the woman, she found her looking straight into her direction; the young girl soon realized the woman was staring at her hurt knees, as she took a slow step into her direction and opened her mouth, ready to say something.

 

She just sat there, frozen like a kid who was just discovered while stealing candy.

 

Then the bus stopped behind the woman, and the piercing brown eyes left her as fast as the vehicle did after she got up.

 

The young girl was left alone with her thoughts, and they were as cloudy as the weather and loud as the traffic; the thought of being back home, to her father's birthday wasn't as exciting as it was a couple hours ago. Call it a teenage whirlpool of emotions, but she suddenly didn't know how to describe what the rain was making her feel at the moment; it was like her brain was giving a different sense to everything around her, like the world was morphing for her eyes to see and her brain to process.

 

As soon as the connection was made, it was cut clean.

 

"Oh crap" A voice said beside her, and she turned to see a discouraged looking young man in a rain coat, carrying what she assumed were big pieces of wood, a carpenter, maybe? "I missed the bus..."

 

He sat beside her, but she didn't look at him after he did.

 

"It's raining" He commented, and she somehow didn't feel the need to roll her eyes back because of the comment "But better losing a minute in life than losing your life in a minute"

 

She kept silent, not daring to say out loud what her heart was already screaming, the sudden epiphany about how much she wished for another minute, even if it meant her life.

 

A minute of what? She wasn't entirely sure.

 

The young man sitting beside a young girl was distracted enough by his work, the task that had to be completed; he didn't really notice when that young girl got up, he didn't saw how her legs suddenly trembled and gave up. Not until he heard the loud and surprisingly dry sound of a head strongly colliding against the concrete of the side walk.

 

He just saw the growing pool of red around the young girl's head.

 

**

 

Real life suddenly feels more real than Tzuyu is prepared to handle; as a kid, she learnt about life and death thanks to a goldfish she had to send to the fish heaven through the toilet, and that was it. Humans were definitely different, and even though she didn't actually know the girl, not even her name, it was hard not to feel heavy when knowing that being so young, she was just... Dead.

 

It was weird to think about, profound and dark, but weird and unexpected as the empathy she felt towards the old lady on the warm house.

 

That young woman used to exist, and at a certain point, she didn't. Still, the world moved on until that same day, where Tzuyu is traveling back home in a bus, with a heavy heart and fear for what's to come.

 

Death is a mysterious thing, she realizes, so big and dreadful, so absolute yet ambiguous.

 

She doesn't dare to think how to tell everything to Mina about death yet, she's not that brave.

 

Mina

 

She can't even think of her name without feeling a hole growing on her stomach.

 

For the first time in the whole time they met each other, Tzuyu doesn't associate Mina's name with something good.

 

For the first time, "Mina" sounds like a bad word.

 

Tzuyu brings the phone out of her pocket and calls with shaking hands, the first one takes a couple minutes to reply, and she's starting to lose her patience -and sanity- until she finally picks up; she barely realizes how loud is the sigh that escapes her mouth.

 

"Are you free tonight?" She seriously asks the woman on the other side of the line,

 

"I have things to do at least until midnight..." She doesn't ask about the reasons behind the desperate tone of her voice, and Tzuyu is grateful for that "But you can come over if you're willing to sneak out later, I'll leave the door open"

 

Her knees shake at the implications, and for a brief second, she has something to look forward that doesn't sound absolutely devastating for everyone around her... Or at least, that's the way it is on Tzuyu's opinion.

 

The second call it's a bit more difficult to do, mainly because she has to pretend she isn't affected at all by whatever those two people made her feel back on the warm house with the hundred pictures.

 

"I need you and Dahyun to be on our apartment in about an hour" She takes a pause to breathe slowly "She's going to need you guys"

 

"Tzuyu... I don't think-"

 

"For once, just for one time, I need you to do what I say" She cuts in, her voice cracking at the end of the sentence because she isn't really sure about how much she's going to endure everything that's happening inside her head at the moment.

 

She ends the call with a tap of her finger, and just like that, Tzuyu feels like she's digging her own grave.

 

**

 

Maybe it’s because of the paranoia, or the guilt somehow biting its way out of her chest, but Tzuyu swears the temperature drops when she opens the door of their apartment and enters the place finding Mina waiting for her on the couch; she knows the older woman is waiting, mainly because she’s pretending to look at the TV, and the channel was playing an infomercial

 

The worst part it’s knowing that she’s actually waiting for good news to be delivered; maybe Mina was waiting for her to say that she had actually found her, and that the girl had waited for her all of those years, heart full of love and promises she was eager to fulfill.

 

She turns her head slowly to look at her, and Tzuyu suddenly can’t breathe.

 

She sees it, she can feel it when those shiny eyes look at her in that unique way.

 

Hope.

 

It's all resumed in feelings and temperatures when the words leave her mouth and the somber message echoes in the room

 

"I found her"

 

Another silence, and Tzuyu is quite sure she broke the skin of her own hands with her nails; she’s trying to distract herself with the physical pain, maybe that would make the news easier to tell.

 

She even tried to block out all the feelings and empathy regarding the issue, maybe try and talk about the girl like she was just that, another one of the millions of people that die every day because of accidents and what not.

 

"What?" Mina says.

 

Tzuyu’s lungs are burning, she can’t really feel the air entering; the look Mina gives her it’s suffocating.

 

"She's dead"

 

Like taking off a band aid.

 

For a mere instant, she sees something flash on Mina's eyes, like innocent expectation, waiting, waiting for her to break the conversation and confess about the joke.

 

She’s a monster, _Tzuyu is a monster_.

 

"A fire, years ago; two other people died." She lets out in a whisper, handling Mina a piece of newspaper, one of hundreds that the old lady had in her home.

 

It takes at least five more minutes for Tzuyu to find the strength to look into her eyes again.

 

And it's so cold when she does and doesn't see any tears, only a void so deep she's scared it might swallow her whole the more she looks at her. The first thing she thinks she's going to get from Mina it's probably denial, maybe even a nervous laugh and the petition for her to stop joking around those subjects.

 

But no, the universe isn't that kind to her, since she only sees the brown of her irises and the deep, scary black of her pupils.

 

She opens her mouth to call her name, but quickly shuts it at the mere thought of the older girl breaking down as soon as she heard any voice; it was that frightening of an experience to see Myoui Mina looking at her like she was anything but a human being, like she couldn't empathize anymore, like she was finally devoid of everything and the only thing that was left behind was the sad reminder of a face that used to shine like the sun in her eyes.

 

She reaches out and convinces herself that it's just the shock taking the best of her; her fingertips trace a path from her hand up her arm, holding onto her shoulder to tug her from the shirt and bring her into her arms, wishing desperately for the girl not to push her away.

 

She had the feeling that, if Mina pushed her away this time, it was probably going to be the last time.

 

Tzuyu doesn't realize how much she needs Mina to react and let herself feel anything until she herself starts crying as she holds the older woman close to her chest. She cries like she's the one who lost the last bit of hope in the world she had created, like she was the one whose world had been crushed down by bad decisions and mistakes she couldn't even dream to correct, because that would mean she would break all the laws of quantum physics.

 

The young barista, no, the girl who dreams to be an actress, suddenly runs out of masks to hide her feelings behind; she cries and cries the tears Mina cannot.

 

Tzuyu is a monster.

 

Dreams are dangerous things, sometimes; that's what they learn in that moment. Even though there's two different girls trying to cling onto whatever hopes they have, under totally different circumstances, the pain is the same when they realize that those particular dreams were dead a long time ago, right beside the grave of a girl they never knew.

 

So Tzuyu cries, holding onto an empty vessel, holding onto the deteriorating shell that used to keep the only soul she learned to love. She presses her fingers onto her shirt, fists clinging onto the cloth in order to keep herself anchored as her tears start to stain Mina's hair.

 

She's begging for a reaction, anything.

 

Mina only inhales and exhales, the primordial instinct of the human being; Tzuyu would have believed her heart stopped beating at a certain point, but the logical part of her brain is mocking her, ridiculing her at the mere thought.

 

Still, in her heart, she knows Mina isn't there anymore.

 

**

 

“What the _actual fuck_ is going on with you, Hirai?” Sooyoung snaps, throwing a bottle of water to the studio floor.

 

It’s the twentieth time that the whole team has to restart the routine because Momo seems to have lost focus out of nowhere; spacing out in the middle of a complicated sequence or plainly messing up like she didn’t know how to dance at all.

 

She wasn’t sure about what was going on with her body.

 

“I’m sorry” She mutters, wiping out her own forehead in frustration, because nothing like that had ever happened to her.

 

The expression on her colleagues’ faces softens, as everyone around her does; they’re all stressed out because of the presentation they need to pull off to share the stage with the Seoul Experimental Orchestra. It was a one-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and that sole knowledge was enough for all of them to keep themselves locked in the studio, practicing day and night.

 

Seulgi more than anyone understands the stress all of them are dealing with, so she sighs and calls out for a break, walking towards Sooyoung and giving her a reassuring pat on the shoulder; she decides to ignore the collective sigh of relief and softly grabs Momo’s hand in order to pull her to a side and have a more private talk.

 

“Are you sleeping well, Momo?” Seulgi asks, and Momo feels guilty because of the concern on her face.

 

“Yeah, I’m sorry for being lacking today.”

 

“Is there something you’d like to talk about? I can be a good listener”

 

“It’s okay, Seulgi, don’t worry”

 

“Momo, you know this routine by heart, Sooyoung and I saw you executing it perfectly hundreds of times; that’s why she’s so frustrated.”

 

Momo sighs, it’s really not like her to ruin things; she lives for making people around her feel happy, accomplished and lighthearted, so the sole idea of making someone _angry_ really throws her off.

 

“I feel off because there has been something out of place in my life this week, I’ll fix it, I promise.”

 

_Mina hadn’t send her a letter, or any kind of message for a week._

 

“Well then, fix it soon, or Sooyoung is going to faint and I can’t carry her around anymore” Her colleague tries joking, and somehow, it works for a bit.

 

Enough for Momo to focus a little bit more in what’s actually important for her at the time.

 

So she breathes in, and while all of her teammates are sitting near the mirrors in the studio, she steps in the middle. She shakes her head a bit and stretches the muscles of her neck, nodding towards Yves, who’s sitting besides the audio equipment and turns it on for Momo.

 

All of her teammates are looking at her curiously then, only Sooyoung and Seulgi notice the change on her stance, and the both of them straighten their posture to pay attention.

 

When the music starts is Hirai Momo, the dancer, who opens her eyes and lets the thumping sound of the drums and the swift cut of the strings carry her body. The paradox of her movements is fascinating, arms moving like feathers against the air and strong legs lifting her body from the floor.

 

Since she was young, she danced to tell a story; as she grew up, those stories became memories, images she desperately wanted to show. Momo tried to let the people see the origins of her soul through her every move; Momo opened herself for the world to see, because she was good, and her heart was too.

 

In that moment, Momo showed them a storm; raining falling onto their faces as she guided the wind, feet gliding over mud and grass and letting Momo show her teammates that disasters were also beautiful.

 

One by one, her teammates started standing up from the studio polished floor and joining her because Hirai Momo, in that moment, was a storm and they were more than eager to be the thunder and lightning.

 

Nayeon would say once again she was like a force of nature, and Jeongyeon would’ve just stare, or record, depending on her mood. That is, if it wasn’t for the fact that they really weren’t what they used to be anymore.

 

Momo was in love with someone else, someone that was threatening to drown her in a sea of silence after endless days of encouraging words and beautiful confessions hidden between those lines she read every night for the sake of her wistful heart. It was indeed weird to get to know the infinite in its whole ethereality, and then going back to the common life.

 

No, not the common life, but the quiet universe in which she existed, even if she ironically was all about music and sounds around her.

 

Hirai Momo isn’t that lost within herself yet, she has too much to see, too many melodies to dance and too many little secrets to show.

 

She barely notices the song already ended until she felt a couple pats on her back and she turned to see her colleagues, no, her new friends staring back at her with the biggest smiles they ever showed since the stress began.

 

**

 

Maybe some would say that Momo felt discouraged after finding out that the actual career she was seeking was more draining than she would’ve initially thought, but the people that thought like that probably didn’t really know her at all. All that it took for her to finally go back on the trail was the music; yes, she did feel affected by Mina’s sudden disappearance, but that didn’t make her feel down.

 

She actually understood, and assumed that, the strange circumstances in which they met had finally sank in and she probably needed a couple days to get aquatinted with the fact that the both of them held so much power.

 

Or she tried to convince herself, she wasn’t quite sure.

 

“Look, Somi! Aunty Momo is here”

 

All the thoughts disappeared when she saw Yongguk with his little daughter on his arms, and the first thing her heart registered was that it felt pretty much like a family; the small child giggled when he helped her move her arm to wave at the dancer, and Momo just left her bag forgotten on the floor as she walked closer to them, taking Somi from his arms and kissing her chubby cheek.

 

“Did you take care of the apartment while I was here?” She asked to the child, who tried to explain whatever she did on that strange language she invented on her own.

 

Somi was supposed to be talking already, but since she was raised in very inconvenient conditions until Yongguk claimed her back, she had several health issues that made her development a bit slower than other children. Momo loved her even more because of that, because Somi was as mysterious as the stars she liked so much, one could never guess what was going on in that cute head of hers, except what she tried to say sometimes.

 

“Nayeon left a while ago, she and your other friend had to do grocery shopping or something.” Yongguk said, running his fingers through his daughter’s hair “I guess we can talk right now”

 

“Okay… Just let me put Somi to play with something.”

 

The both of them kissed the little girl’s head after letting her sit on the living room carpet, Yongguk turned on the old tv and put on some cartoons for her to see while Momo sat on the table a couple meters away.

 

“I know I came in a quite unfortunate time” He started, sitting across her.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Nayeon told me about the both of you; I’m sorry Momo.”

 

“It’s okay” Momo quickly said, not wanting to get into that conversation yet “We’re civil, so there’s no need for you to worry about Somi seeing fights or something.”

 

“I know, I just wanted to- “He interrupted himself when Momo just shook her head, smiling at him “Never mind.”

 

“You haven’t changed a bit, Yongguk” She chuckled, and Yongguk only scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed “Always taking care of me… I think it was about time for me to repay the favor.”

 

They fell silent after that, and they could hear Somi mumbling to the TV when the character asked something; Momo gave the man a pat on the back and held his hand as reassurance. She couldn’t even imagine the turmoil of doubts and thoughts on his head, so she just waited for him to be confident enough to let her on the information.

 

He sighed a couple minutes after, glancing towards his daughter.

 

“I’ll fix my mistakes Momo, I owe that to her and to you for doing this.”

 

“It will be okay, Gukkie, you know we’ll take care of her.”

 

“I feel like the worst father in the world… I shouldn’t do this to my baby girl, I should stay with her forever until she gets mad at me because I’m too clingy”

 

Momo sees tears on his eyes, and she can’t do anything else but pull him into a hug.

 

“You will be with her until the both of you are old and all of that. But remember that right now you have things to do; think about how much it will benefit Somi on the future, I mean, the both of you will live together and in peace, and I’ll get to visit every week to annoy the both of you, because I need my big bear of a friend to judge my routines.”

 

Yongguk sniffs against her hair and she wonders when was the last time the man let himself feel all what his heart was asking him to.

 

“When will you leave?” She dares to ask, because she needs to get her schedule -and heart- ready for what’s to come.

 

“After your presentation, in a couple days” He whispers against her hair, and she knows he’s trying to keep his voice down so reality isn’t harsh with him again. “I’ll go to Japan, and then London.”

 

“Try to call us every time you can, will you?” She’s trying hard to not cry with him, because it hurts her to see him this vulnerable; she can’t drop the strong mask though, not when he needs her to be the strong one, he needs her to defend him, to fight the world for him this time.

 

“I’ll try” He says honestly.

 

Yongguk had always been the trouble maker out of their small group of friends, and Momo always thought it was because he was being influenced, but soon she understood that it was the desperate desire of a boy to be strong and brave enough to face reality alone. Simple pranks and childish jokes became small crimes as they grew up, and before Momo and Nayeon realized, he was going to become a father and very dangerous people were angry with him.

 

She always regretted not being able to pull him out from that life, but Yongguk wasn’t himself at the time and rejected every kind of help the both of them offered.

 

Of course, he changed when Somi came along.

 

Everything changed when she was born.

 

Everything but the debt.

 

“I will fix this” He repeated, and Momo kissed the side of his head.

 

“You will, and you’ll comeback to us when you’re done, so we can hangout and eat too much ice-cream”

 

“That actually sounds amazing” He finally smiles, sniffing childishly.

 

Momo knew that, for Somi, he was capable of anything, so peace soon found both of their hearts, especially when the small girl called for them in between giggles.

 

A family sounded good for Momo, after all those years.

 

**

 

_“Can you make me one single promise?”_

_“Anything”_

_“Don’t ever stop, until those dreams become a reality.”_

_“I won’t”_

 

**

 

Chaeyoung was more vulnerable that she’d want to be, always wearing her emotions on her sleeve because she depended on them to do what she loved; Dahyun was her counterpart, the kind of girl that could be smiling even through the worst of pains, it was hard to tell when something was wrong with her, unless, of course, you were Son Chaeyoung.

 

That was why the both of them worked so well, both as roommates and best friends; when they were together, they were able to face anything through mutual support.

 

They were stronger together, yes, but it was hard to be when they found themselves against something they’d never thought: Apathy.

 

When Chaeyoung picked up the phone and Tzuyu asked for her and her best friend to go to their apartment, she doubted, mainly because they knew Mina wasn’t in top condition the last couple of days, not that she was being out of the ordinary regarding her extremely introverted ways, but she was neglecting certain stuff she shouldn’t and that would fuck up her life eventually.

 

But then Tzuyu said she would need them, and by the tone of her voice, Chaeyoung could take an easy guess about the reason behind those words. Dahyun didn’t even doubt at the moment her best friend told her to drop her music rehearsal and come to her to Mina’s; there was something on the way that Tzuyu spoke that threw Chaeyoung out of place, and soon a feeling of dread took over them as they thought out loud about the possibilities.

 

“Do you think that she found her or…”

 

“Or.” Chaeyoung said “She sounded so distraught, unless she’s dealing with her own stuff.”

 

“There’s something wrong with Tzuyu?” Dahyun asked, a frown on her face as she picked up her backpack from the piano room and followed her best friend out of the school campus and towards their home.

 

“You didn’t notice?”

 

“All I know is that she was getting really excited about meeting with some woman on her job or something the other day, you know she doesn’t really talk about her private life too much, I mean, regarding heart matters at least.”

 

“Wait, when did that happen?”

 

“A couple days ago? Why?”

 

Chaeyoung frowns for a couple instants, and Dahyun only needs to give her one look in order to get all the information out of her friend; they didn’t hide any secrets from each other anyway.

 

“I noticed some stuff, like, she sneaks out a lot during the nights?”

 

“No, that’s not true, we sleep at their place almost every day.”

 

“I’m telling you, Dahyun; when she thinks we’re all sleeping, she sneaks out and then comes back when she prepares breakfast for Mina”

 

“Have you seen her leaving?”

 

“Actually, yes.”

 

Dahyun wears a thoughtful expression, and Chaeyoung interlaces her fingers with her best friend’s because they don’t really know what to make out of all the things that have been happening the last months.

 

“She must be getting really, really close to that woman.”

 

“Disgusting.”

 

“I know.” She sighs.

 

Somehow, they calmly walk back to their apartment, like nothing really bad it’s about to happen.

 

The bliss of ignorance, some would say.

 

**

 

Her head laid back into the couch's arm rest, looking at the ceiling until the presence of the other woman eclipsed the light and looked down at her. Tiredness wasn’t reason enough to not hold her at the second she felt Tzuyu’s weight on top of her, but she took a good ten seconds before her hands moved from her sides and rested delicately over her back, earning a sigh from the barista, like she feared a lack of response from her.

 

"You waited for me." Tzuyu said.

 

"Yes, you sounded like you needed me."

 

They kept their position for a while, in hopes for the peaceful and silent pause to be enough for them instead of taking another step forward and get themselves into a deeper hole than before.

 

"You were working late." Tzuyu simply stated, and she hummed in acknowledgement. "Extra hours?"

 

"No, I was with an acquaintance." She replied, closing her eyes and sighing in exhaustion; she saw the guilt reflecting on the tall barista and figured out that maybe she understood that it wasn’t just physical exhaustion.

 

Tzuyu's roaming hands immediately stopped at her ribs, and she sat up, with her legs at either side of her hips; her body automatically reacted to the gesture and she sat up with the barista on her lap. She searched into her eyes, in silent hope to find any tint of regret because of what they were about to do, once again; she found none.

 

She was still partially guilty of what was happening, but she wasn’t really the kind of woman that could resist, not when it was a person like Tzuyu, a safe haven, a discreet lover, someone who wouldn’t judge because she was as fucked up as her.

 

**

 

The two young friends left their belongings on their apartment; Dahyun went straight to her kitchen to get a box of cookies, and Chaeyoung simply changed her jacket for a hoodie so she could be a bit more comfortable while hanging out with Mina.

 

That was actually the first moment when they realized something was holding them back from simply going across the hallway and knock on their door.

 

Usually they’d just barge in and call out for them until one of the two older girls allowed them to enter their rooms to play or do whatever. Now though, there was something holding the two of them back; maybe they were just being their usual extra selves because of the way in which Tzuyu had spoken; maybe, just maybe, they were scared of what was waiting for them on the other side of Mina’s door.

 

“Do you need to take anything else before we go?” Dahyun asked, holding a bit too tightly onto the small box.

 

“Why did Tzuyu said that she would need us?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“When she called, she said that she would need us; Tzuyu it’s her best friend, she’s like, her everything and we’re just their mess of a friends.” She tensed, a chill running down her spine as she took long strides towards their door and across the hallway. “Even if they fought or something… If Mina was having a crisis, Tzuyu should be the first one by her side. Why the fuck did she ask for us?!”

 

Dahyun soon caught up with what Chaeyoung was trying to say.

 

“What the fuck did Tzuyu do?”

 

Chaeyoung used their emergency spare key to open the apartment.

 

“I think it would be better to ask what she didn’t do” Chaeyoung replied after checking the living room and kitchen, eyes fixed on a single note over the counter, in Tzuyu’s penmanship.

 

“They aren’t here” Dahyun said after checking on every room.

 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” Chaeyoung muttered

 

“What?”

 

“She fucking left her alone… Dahyun, the notebook girl is dead”

 

And, like they shared the same brain, the both of them ran out of the apartment and to the stairs.

 

Towards the rooftop.

 

**

 

"Want me to get you off?" Tzuyu asked, pulling down her underwear quite aggressively, not that she was complaining though.

 

“Fuck” She moaned.

 

"You smell nice today." Tzuyu said softly, leaning towards her to sniff on her neck after placing a series of kisses and bites on her already sensitive, burning skin. "Like a flowery forest after a warm evening, in the middle of the summer."

 

She would have chuckled at Tzuyu’s choice of words to describe a perfume most people would just define as floral; the aspiring actress had that particular way to say things that she couldn't understand completely, and she realized that, maybe, she was taking her dream career a bit too seriously.

 

"What do I smell like?” Tzuyu suddenly asked, throwing the rest of their clothes away before diving right back into her skin, licking, biting and sucking on her like her life depended on it.

 

Her mind didn’t register the question immediately, mainly because her body was way too overwhelmed by the feeling of her Tzuyu’s sex grinding against her thigh and then her mouth devouring her skin.

 

"Like fire... Not burnt nor ashy. Just pure fire." She moaned when Tzuyu bit harder, demanding an answer.

 

She only replied with an amused hum, letting her mouth take over her chest and greedily suck on one of her nipples.

 

It was an escape, everything was too overwhelming.

 

She tried to regain a bit of control of the situation, her own arousal causing her to press her fingers on Tzuyu’s slim waist so hard that she’d probably leave marks. Of course, it backfired when the woman on top of her groaned against her breast and took another approach on her, grabbing both of her wrists and holding them above her head.

 

She couldn’t find the strength to fight her anymore, not when she was making her feel that good by only using her mouth; so she let Tzuyu hold her hands with one of hers while the other one trailed down her body, her short nails leaving burning trails behind as her breath hitched and she melted on her touch.

 

“Fire burns” Tzuyu says, bitterness on her voice as she rubs her sex like she owns every millimeter of her skin “It destroys everything.”

 

She can’t help but moan, there’s pure power emanating from Tzuyu’s motions; and she would be saddened by the reasons if it wasn’t for the fact that she was quite distracted by her fingers spreading her and touching her expertly.

 

“It also means light” She manages to say, trying to find Tzuyu inside those darkened pupils “It’s warmth”

 

The grunt coming from her as she grinds her sex against her thigh soon morphs into a bitter chuckle.

 

“There are always two sides of the same coin” Tzuyu breathes out, inserting one of her fingers inside her heat and making her shut her eyes close; now all she can listen is the white noise and the subtle melody of the other woman’s voice. “Want to bet?”

 

She freed her wrists, only to have the assertive touch on her jaw; for a moment, she thought Tzuyu would change the pace, because of the gentle caress of her thumb across her cheekbone. She dared to open her eyes then and found temptation incarnated, an intense glare measuring all of her reactions; when her back arched because of the thumb rubbing circles on her clit, and when the thumb on her cheek traveled from there to her bruised, reddened lips.

 

She promised to be a good girl before, and she would comply.

 

So she chose to forget and just opened her lips to welcome Tzuyu’s thumb with her tongue.

 

It had its effect, and Tzuyu inserts another finger on her.

 

**

 

The door leading to the rooftop slams open as Dahyun pushed strongly against it, Chaeyoung following closely behind as the both of them immediately look for Mina; it’s more windy than other days, but the air didn’t really feel necessary cold until both of the friends found the illustrator.

 

Sitting on the railing, at the edge of the rooftop.

 

Chaeyoung covers her mouth with one of her hands to hold back a gasp, thinking the sound would startle the young woman more than the sudden slamming of the door did a couple instants ago. Dahyun feels dread running through her veins, because even if Mina didn’t look like she was going to do something stupid and jump from there, everything looked suddenly too dangerous.

 

Mina doesn’t turn around at the sounds they made, like she was expecting them anyway.

 

Dahyun is the first one to take a step forward, ignoring Chaeyoung’s hand trying to pull her back.

 

“I did something very bad” It’s the loudest voice they ever heard coming from Mina; for a brief moment, Chaeyoung even thinks she might be drunk.

 

“I don’t think that’s entirely true.” Dahyun answers calmly when Chaeyoung doesn’t seem brave enough to talk “Who told you so?”

 

“No one”

 

“Then why would you think something like that?” Another step forward, and Dahyun looks at Chaeyoung, nodding towards Mina. “D-did Tzuyu say something?”

 

Mina looks back at them, and the two friends freeze when they see her reddened eyes and the small trail of blood coming from her bottom lip, probably from chewing on it so hard.

 

“No one.” She repeats, and Dahyun nods yet another time, cautiously walking until she can place her elbows on the railing, leaning herself forward beside the spot where Mina is currently sitting.

 

Chaeyoung just looks at them, overwhelmed by the whole situation, because even if Dahyun is right beside the illustrator, death It’s the only thing that seems to come to her mind at the moment. She swallows the lump on her throat, and when she’s about to blink the tears away, she notices the torn papers sliding beside her feet thanks to the wind.

 

A couple meters away, there’s a broken table.

 

And an equally destroyed magical notebook, that, presumably, isn’t magic anymore.

 

“I did something really bad in the past; I hurt many people before.” Chaeyoung can hear Mina sniffing through her words as she kneels down, trying to gather all the pages from the torn notebook she can reach.

 

Some are empty pages she didn’t get to use, and some other ones are the girl’s letters; Chaeyoung wants to cry because laying like that, it just look like trash, like mere pieces of paper threatening to fly away and not the small miracle they got to experience together. The young artist comes to the painful resolution that, at the end of the day, every miracle it’s just a piece of paper in the wind, even if it means the world to someone, it would always be just a piece of paper for everyone else’s eyes.

 

Chaeyoung wants to cry because seeing Mina’s world falling apart would probably mean a whole lot of trash for the people walking down on a street.

 

The world it’s cold when people don’t see anything but a piece of paper.

 

“I must have been the worst person in the world for being punished like this.”

 

**

 

“Heads or tails?” Tzuyu asks when she hears the woman under her moaning; the vibrations echoing on her thumb are making her heart beat hard against her ribcage.

 

She was doing what she did best: read and react; just another movement from the woman’s hips and her fingers sunk deep into her again, stealing the woman’s breath away like it was nothing. And how bittersweet the moment was, when she realized how intoxicated and addicted she was to that kind of connection and how scary it sounded inside her head to consider that as a “connection” at all.

 

She was just fucking a girl on her couch because she felt like it, as simple as a hairdresser appointment. The only thing she was seeking was her body, and her only comfort was the total control she had over her when they were having sex.

 

Tzuyu started counting out the things about herself that should make her feel disgusted but somehow didn’t anymore; first, it was the pride because of the uncontrolled moaning coming from the woman under her, barely held back by her thumb, which she removed only to feed her ever growing ego thanks to the sound of her name escaping reddened lips like it was a mantra; second, the responses that she got from the woman’s body at every move she did, her sex trapping her fingers in, her nails making her groan when she couldn’t help to cling to her like a cat would to a tree.

 

The voice on her head was trying to convince her that no other person could make this woman feel like she did while pressing against her inner walls, finding a magical spot that made her tremble and let out the most sinful noises Tzuyu ever heard.

 

“Tzuyu” The woman gasped, and Tzuyu complied, pulling the woman up and onto her lap to help her bounce on her fingers.

 

_Make her feel desperate for you, make her wish she could move faster._

 

She repeated her name again, in pleasure instead of love.

 

And that did serious things to Tzuyu’s already worried and fragile heart of stone.

 

She latched her mouth against hers in order to keep herself grounded, the musical sound of their tongues and lips meeting adding up to the already obscene wet noises echoing in the living room.

 

She can barely kiss her without having to stop to moan and gasp and Tzuyu tastes her secret stash’ cookies on her mouth.

 

“Fuck, Tzuyu, yes” The woman moans as her hips start to move frantically, her fingers holding onto Tzuyu’s hair and pulling strongly.

 

She can’t help but let out the most satisfied cries of pleasure when she curls her fingers inside her; Tzuyu can’t help but pump faster when she feels her orgasm approaching.

 

It’s all a mess, both figuratively and literally when she finally releases wave after wave of pleasure on her palm; a body shudders out of sensitivity and the other out of an intoxicating sensation of accomplishment.

 

Tzuyu sighs when she feels the woman’s forehead against her shoulder, her body slacking on top of her and thighs trembling because she’s still moving inside her.

 

“Please” She whines “Stop, I can’t”

 

And so she complies, slowly removing her fingers from her twitching sex and putting her arms around her waist in a form of strange and awkward comradery.

 

“Did it hurt?” Tzuyu asks when the woman moves and a quiet gasp escapes her mouth. “Sana?”

 

Sana only shakes her head against her shoulder, somehow letting Tzuyu know she can’t move yet.

 

“I should be the one asking you that”

 

**

 

_Tell her I’m sorry for her loss, I’ll spend the night out._

_-Tzuyu_

 

**

 

"A fire, years ago; two other people died." She hears Tzuyu saying softly, handling her a piece of newspaper, one of hundreds that the old lady had in her home.

 

It takes at least five more minutes for Tzuyu to find the strength to look into her eyes again.

 

Mina isn’t quite sure of what to make from the words at the beginning; it’s like the language isn’t really logical anymore because Tzuyu just said the most ridiculous mix of words she had ever heard in her whole life, and she took creative writing back on school alongside a jock who thought that “ball” was a verb.

 

She looks at the tall barista again after blinking a couple times and glace around in search of her other friends, and maybe a camera indicating that the whole thing was a joke or something like that. But Tzuyu is looking at her like she suddenly doesn’t have answers anymore.

 

That’s the exact moment when Mina decides to look down at the piece of newspaper on her hand.

 

And she sees it.

 

It’s the same building they’re living in, but not exactly the same, no; this building in the pictures looks different, this building it’s on fire.

 

That building wasn’t her building, that building wasn’t Dahyun’s and Chaeyoung’s; that building wasn’t Tzuyu’s and hers.

 

That building was Momo’s.

 

She barely registers the taller girl holding her close, her tears staining her when her own can barely start forming on her eyes.

 

The newspaper held the reaper’s letter to the widow that never came to be, and she wanted to ask the universe what the fuck was the idea behind all that scheming.

 

“Momo isn’t dead” She hears herself saying, but it somehow sounds like she’s in a totally different room, distant and cold.

 

“Mina” Now it’s Tzuyu sobbing, cradling her face on her hands as she tries to get a reaction from her, any reaction. “Mina, I asked Mrs. Kang.”

 

“She’s old, she might be forgetful”

 

“Mina…”

 

“It’s a common thing at her age” Mina smiles, removing Tzuyu’s hands from her face in order to walk into her room, just to take a hold on one of Momo’s letters because it isn’t true, Momo isn’t dead because then how could she send her those letters?

 

Of course, she isn’t surprised to look up and find the tall girl looking at her with the face full of tears; Tzuyu was used to enter her room without permission, maybe she should start to consider putting a lock.

 

“You said she was a dancer, right?” Tzuyu asks, and Mina doesn’t look at her because she already told her about it and doesn’t need to repeat it. “Mrs Kang told me that she lost the Den’s most bright stars that night, that they were always dancing on the rooftop.”

 

She repeats her name, and Mina raises a single hand in order to stop her.

 

“She isn’t dead”

 

Her heart starts beating faster anytime she says the word or even thinks about it, because it just isn’t possible; her heart it’s only trying to let her know how ridiculous the words are.

 

Mrs Kang only confused Momo with someone else.

 

Momo wasn’t the only star after all.

 

Yes, she was the brightest, but not the only one; there’s billions of stars on the galaxy, burning billions of light years away from them.

 

She couldn’t be the star that burned out and became nothing.

 

Momo wasn’t nothing.

 

Momo was everything.

 

“Mina, for Chri-“

 

“SHE ISN’T DEAD”

 

Her brain barely registers the movements, but Mina finds herself standing in front of Tzuyu faster than she can react and by the time she figures what happened, the taller girl is already holding her cheek and her own hand is already hurting because of the slap.

 

An anthropologist said one that humans were as violent as they were compassionate; the rule of the whites and blacks still predominant even in that area of what a human being is like, for every black there’s a white, for every darkness there’s a light. We humans are made to love and forgive at the same levels we are to be violent and unmerciful; and someone like Mina, suddenly learning so much about the light, at some point became the darkest spot in a cloud of darkness.

 

And who was Tzuyu to fight against her own humanity?

 

“MINA LISTEN TO YOURSELF, LISTEN TO ME” She roars back “YOU WANTED TRUTH? YOU HAVE TRUTH. SHE. IS. DEAD.”

 

Mina tries to push her, but there’s no avail; her arms won’t work anymore.

 

But her brain and her heart does, and she already has the answer before Tzuyu can retaliate and try to destroy her any further.

 

“Not yet.” She says, and Tzuyu’s blood runs cold on her veins “I’ll warn her”

 

A single tear runs down Mina’s cheek, and it speaks volumes of what’s inside of her at the moment, but she needs clarity, and Tzuyu is going to force it on here no matter if she likes it or not.

 

She’ll even force herself to believe all that’s happening, she’ll swallow everything Mina’s delusional head is throwing on her way because she just needs her to see.

 

“Hear yourself.” She tries to calm herself down and keep her at bay in the process “You are communicating with someone from four years ago, that’s like fourteen hundred and sixty-one days, right? A whole fucking long time if you ask me. Now, please enlighten me; why the fuck would you alter something so important from the past, risking your own, no, our own present and the present of the people around us? Just because you felt like it?”

 

“We are talking about a human life here, Tzuyu”

 

“A human life that, in our reality, was already lost.”

 

“Who are you to tell me what should I do or don’t do with what was trusted to me? You wouldn’t even know what was going on around you if it wasn’t for the girls asking me to tell you.”

 

Tzuyu decides that’s pure anger and lack of self-control what it’s driving Mina’s words and that she would try and ignore the feeling on her heart; it still hurts, but not so much as the idea of her being so lost within what she thought it was the best because she wasn’t watching the whole picture.

 

“Unlike you, I’m being cold-headed enough to know that the most stupid thing you can do in the universe it’s to intervene because of your own selfishness and obsession over something that was already written. It’s that what she taught you, all of these months? It’s that what she changed in you? Your miracle turned you into someone your own friends can recognize anymore?”

 

She’s waiting for her to retaliate, but she doesn’t.

 

Instead, she just looks defeated.

 

“There’s no limit to the cruelty time it’s capable of”

 

“We can do something about it.” Tzuyu finds herself saying.

 

“How?”

 

“The same way how it started, with a letter.”

 

Only a look and Mina starts to understand what she’s implying.

 

“No.”

 

“Mina I-“

 

“Just leave, please leave before you regret your next words.”

 

The balance exists in everything and everyone, for every light, there’s a shadow; and for every compassionate person, there’s a merciless one.

 

Tzuyu and Mina choose their side then.

 

“You know, I’ll take the risk.”

 

Silence.

 

“When I thought I was failing in life, I thought it was because of my lack of talent, maybe I wasn’t attractive enough; When I thought I wasn’t good enough at my job, I thought I was because I didn’t find it entertaining enough, even knowing that Mark and Jihyo are literally the only two people that brighten my days. When I thought I wasn’t attracted to a relationship I thought it was the voice of my parents asking me to be responsible.” She let’s out a breathy chuckle before continuing “Turns out it’s all your fault. You’re the one I’m saving while I’m drowning; you’re the reason why I don’t get casted, because I don’t practice in order to listen to you explaining your concepts; you’re the reason why I’m so tired at work, because I have to fucking work twice as hard in order to cope with everything; You’re the reason why I can’t love, because I give you my heart over and over again and you only break it and twist it and alter it like it’s one of your fucking drawings. And I’ve been so blind, that I didn’t notice that the fucking golden altar I built for you was the one squeezing me to the ground because I wear it on my back every fucking day.”

 

She’s trembling by the time she finishes, and the both of them are melting into tears as the hell breaks loose and heaven forgets them.

 

“The only thing I wanted, and this it’s the sad part, _that I still want_ , was for you to give me just a little bit of love.”

 

More silence.

 

“Now think about it when you write that fucking letter and choose over yet another person’s destiny.”

 

Long strides, a pause, and a door violently shutting close are the only things Mina hears over the unsettling silence on her mind.

 

Except for that one little voice, accompanying her since she was born.

_You’re the one at fault._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's open a debate about morality, let's talk about what's the right thing vs what we wish; what it's correct to say and what isn't? and why those things make us humans?
> 
>  
> 
> PS: If I get at least three theories, I'll post an additional scene that will make things even more clearer

**Author's Note:**

> You still with me on this wild ride?
> 
> This work it's... Strange, you'll soon realize, and I'm gonna need your opinions and insight about it because I was talking with someone before posting the first chapter and they told me the story might get tricky at some points and I'm really self conscious about it so, if you need to ask anything about the way this story it's going to develop (or just your opinion about it, which I'm be really eager to know), you can comment here or reach out to me on twitter @DamnYouRaccoon and I'll be glad to answer.
> 
> Have a good night/day, wherever you are!


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